The Ultimate Guide to Not Being the Worst Wedding Guest There

On Good Guys, hosts Josh Peck and Ben Soffer do what they do best: take something that should be simple and turn it into a full strategy meeting. This time, it’s weddings. Specifically, how to be the kind of guest who doesn’t ruin the vibe, doesn’t panic-eat every passed appetizer like it’s the Hunger Games, and doesn’t accidentally make the night about themselves.

The conversation moves from cocktail-hour survival to the unspoken rules of being a good guest—and eventually to a listener question so unhinged it feels illegal. Wedding season is coming. Here’s how to survive it without becoming the story people text about later.

The Ultimate Guide to Not Being the Worst Wedding Guest There

Eat before you get there or you will become unhinged

You skipped lunch because you told yourself you were going to “crush this wedding.” Noble in theory. Disastrous in practice. By the time cocktail hour hits, your stomach is growling and your brain is doing math you didn’t know it was capable of. Soffer calls the energy behind this “scarcity complex,” which is why perfectly normal people suddenly turn feral the second a tray of appetizers appears.

He says the best weddings eliminate this problem entirely. The ideal setup, in his opinion, is when the food is already out before the ceremony even starts. “You eat something, you have a drink, the bar is open,” he explains. “You’re not hungry, you’re not thirsty, you’re lightly liquored, you’re prone to crying, you’re not agitated.”

In other words: everyone’s baseline mood improves immediately.

If the wedding you’re going to doesn’t offer that kind of pre-ceremony snack situation, the move is simple. Eat something small before you leave. A mezze plate. Toast with peanut butter. Literally anything that prevents you from mentally calculating how many cocktail weenies you can grab per tray pass.

The dream hors d’oeuvres spread

Peck proposes a soft pretzel bar as “the perfect pre-ceremony snack.” Warm carbs, minimal mess, instant happiness. Ideally paired with small smoothies packed with electrolytes because, as he points out, people are “going to be boozing.”

From there, they draft what is essentially the passed hors d’oeuvres hall of fame:

• tuna tartare in a wonton
• pigs in a blanket
• chicken satay with thick peanut sauce
• mini spring rolls
• Vietnamese summer rolls
• lamb chop “lollipops”

If you’re planning a wedding right now, you could honestly just hand this list to your caterer and call it a day. Just follow Peck’s one additional piece of advice for pre-ceremony snacks: “Nothing crunchy.” Soffer agrees. “Yeah, that’s smart because crunch could really get everywhere,” he explains.

The only rule that actually matters

“The worst thing that you can do at a wedding truly is make it about anyone but the bride and groom,” Peck says. “If you take even a breath of their shine—honey, excuse yourself forever…I am here to serve the party, not myself.” 

That’s the whole thing. You’re not there to network. You’re not there to get content. You’re there to make the couple’s night better. Soffer says he’s the guy rounding up “the six huskiest men with the burliest arms” to put the terrified father-in-law on the chair at a Jewish wedding. That’s the energy. Be the person who makes something happen for someone else.

This is not your last meal (please act accordingly)

A listener wrote in with a scenario that immediately made both hosts lose it: “My friend brought his own ribeye to my dinner party and asked me to cook it because he ‘prefers it.’” Soffer didn’t hesitate. “This is the most disrespectful thing you can possibly do,” he says. “I’m not your short order cook.”

Peck says the real issue here is something that tends to get worse as people get older: rigidity. “Don’t be so rigid,” he says. “It’s not all about you and your f*cking steak.” He’s not wrong. A lot of social disasters come down to the same thing. People treating someone else’s event like it’s their personal tasting menu. And as Soffer puts it, “This is not your last meal…If I don’t have the perfect bite of steak for this singular meal, it’s okay. Show up, have a good time, be a good guest.”

You want to cook your own ribeye exactly how you like it? Beautiful. Host your own dinner. But when you’re at someone else’s table, eat what they made and say thank you.

Be the water guy

Soffer’s sleeper tip for being the best guest at literally any event. “I’m water guy. I’m always looking out. Are you dehydrated? Because you probably are.” After the toasts, after the shots, after the first dance when everyone’s sweaty and flushed, be the person handing out H2O. Nobody will remember who caught the bouquet, but everyone will remember who kept them from a hangover.

Listen to the full episode on Good Guys with Josh Peck and Ben Soffer, available wherever you listen to podcasts.

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