9 Listener Confessions That Made Two Podcast Hosts Completely Lose It
Maggie Ekberg
There’s something about an anonymous confession box that turns normal, functioning adults into absolute chaos agents. On What We Said, Jaci Marie Smith and Chelsey Jade Curtis opened the floor for listeners to share the secrets they’ve literally never told anyone, and what came back was a masterclass in human unhinged behavior.
These started relatively tame and escalated in a way that nobody was prepared for. Consider yourself warned.
9 Listener Confessions That Made Two Podcast Hosts Completely Lose It
She makes up a fake life every time she goes to the hair salon
A listener confesses that she can’t stop lying to her stylist. If they ask if she’s dating anyone, she invents a whole boyfriend—how they met, where he’s from, and that he’s “probably proposing soon.” If they ask about an event, suddenly her friend is having a destination wedding in Italy and she’s the maid of honor. “Nope,” she writes. “I just need my highlights touched up.” She can never return to the same salon because she can’t keep the lies straight, which honestly might be the funniest part. “You should start a podcast and just make up fake stories,” Curtis suggests. “People love stories. They don’t care if they’re real.”
She cyberbullied herself on Ask.fm for attention
“I cyberbullied myself on Ask.fm in junior high for attention,” a listener writes. “My sister saw the posts on my page, so she and my mom were comforting me, saying things like, ‘Don’t worry, they’re just jealous of you.’ And I ate it up. Meanwhile, I knew I was the author the whole time.” Smith and Curtis aren’t even mad about this one. “Be creative,” Curtis says. “It’s your brand. It’s your business.”
She’s been faking veganism for years because she’s too stubborn to admit her dad was right
This listener was genuinely vegan for a few years. Then she stopped. But she didn’t want her dad hitting her with the “told you so, just a phase” speech, so she just kept the lie going. Three years later, restaurants must have vegan options, she only makes vegan recipes when they visit, and they bring her special food at holidays. “I don’t know how to stop lying about it,” she writes. Smith’s advice? “Just keep it up.” Curtis cosigns immediately: “100 percent.”
She faked Olive Garden as a homemade meal and her husband still talks about it
At 18, this listener panicked when her boyfriend asked her to cook. So she ordered fettuccini alfredo from Olive Garden, put it in a pot, and pretended to be cooking when he arrived. “He has raved about this meal since then,” she writes. “If he asks for it, I tell him it’s a lot of work and I don’t have the time, so he stopped asking.” They’re now married. “Just Door Dash it again—keep the bit going,” Smith says. “You can tell him when you’re a lot older.”
She accidentally sold a $6,000 Disney bracelet for $60 on her last day
A listener who did the Disney College Program confesses that she couldn’t find the right barcode for a tennis bracelet, scanned one that looked close enough, and told the customer it was $60. The customer loved it and bought it immediately. “A little later, I was looking through the binder for another guest and I found the actual tennis bracelet I had sold a few hours earlier for $60, actually listed at about 6K,” she writes. “Because it was my last day, I figured I’d just stay quiet about it.” “Disney can afford it. What an iconic find from that girl.”
M/center>
She might have accidentally killed her neighbor’s dog when she was 7
This one took a turn. A listener confesses that at seven years old, her neighbors asked her to feed and water their dog while they were out of town for a week. She gave the dog pool water “because it was easier to get than the hose.” The dog died shortly after they got back. She’s 29 and has never spoken of it until now. “Girl, you need to let that burden go because you were seven,” Curtis says. “They should not have been asking a seven-year-old neighbor.”
She pooped in a trash bag in her trunk with both kids buckled in
A mom took her two daughters to the beach. Both kids were buckled in, both on the verge of nap time meltdowns. Then her stomach decided it was go time. “No way was I going to unbuckle them and still make it to the beach restroom in time,” she writes. So she grabbed a trash bag from the trunk, crawled into the back of her SUV, and handled the situation. Baby wipes. New air freshener. Windows down the entire drive home. Both hosts immediately validate her. “I would have done the same,” Smith admits. “Desperate times. Just what are you supposed to do?”
She left a turd on the bathroom floor at work to test how often they actually clean
A listener noticed the cleaning staff at her office wasn’t doing a great job. So instead of reporting it like a normal person, she decided to run an experiment. “When I was wiping, a tiny little turd flicked out onto the floor next to the toilet,” she writes. “I was like, hmm, I’m actually going to leave that there and see how long it takes for the cleaning people to actually clean.” It was weeks. “You could have left a piece of toilet paper,” Curtis says horrified. “You could have put a piece of gum. A literal turd that you’re leaving there to cook and just soak in the air in that room for weeks.”
A teacher tasted a second grader’s pee and this story needs to be investigated
This is the one that broke both hosts. A listener was in second grade choir class, desperately had to pee, raised her hand, and the teacher said no. She peed all over her chair. When the teacher finally came over, she pointed at the ceiling and said the liquid came from up there. “He stood on a chair, checked the ceiling, proceeded to take his finger, dip it in my pee,” she writes. And then…he tasted it. Before Smith can even finish reading, Curtis is already gone. “No, no, no. Not him smacking his lips drinking your actual pee.” The listener closes it out perfectly: “After looking back, I hope he’s in jail. That was criminal.”
Listen to the full episode on What We Said, available wherever you listen to podcasts.
Read Next
- 5 Things Scheana Shay and Zack Wickham Just Revealed That Bravo Fans Need to Hear
- 6 Money Truths That Decide Whether Your Relationship Survives Real Life
- One Woman’s Secret About Her Husband’s Kinks Reveals Something Much Deeper
Leave a Reply