Whitney Port’s ‘Toxic Traits’ Prove Nobody Has Adulting Figured Out

Adulthood has no plot. One minute you’re meal-prepping like you’re the CEO of Wellness™ and the next you’re staring at a drawer full of spinach that died for absolutely nothing. You own twelve reusable grocery bags but somehow never remember them. And while you could savor dinner like a normal person, you’re too busy mentally begging the waiter to come take your order faster.

That’s the everyday chaos we never talk about…until now. On With Whit, host Whitney Port spills the tiny, ridiculous “toxic traits” that make her wonder whether she’s thriving or just stumbling through life like the rest of us gremlin adults. It’s relatable. It’s comforting. It’s basically free therapy in podcast form. So if your pantry, suitcase, and random life clutter are all screaming, “I’m doing my best, OK?”—congratulations. You belong here.

Going to the grocery store hungry and buying food for the apocalypse

“My toxic trait in a grocery store is going in hungry and then ending up buying everything and wanting everything on the shelf and then letting so much go to waste,” Port admits. “I panic purchase, like I’m preparing for an apocalypse and then half the things end up being aspirational produce…and then I’m wasteful.”

A lot of us hear that and go, “wow, same.” Because when you shop hungry, you’re pretty much asking your fight-or-flight system to make dinner decisions. One study found that hungry shoppers are 64 percent more likely to impulse-buy—not because they need more food, but because their brain is freaking out about not having enough.

That’s how the “aspirational produce” sneaks in. You picture future-you sautéing kale and blending green smoothies like it’s your job. But present-you is exhausted, scrolling TikTok in bed, and that kale is slowly liquefying in the crisper.

Port’s particularly vulnerable about the waste and guilt that follows. “I feel sh*tty about myself,” she says, and that’s the real toxic part. It’s not the buying itself, but the shame spiral after. And despite what some may think, the fix isn’t willpower or better planning (though those help). It’s recognizing that the grocery-store you is making decisions under duress. So eat before you go, make a list, and accept that some trips will get away from you…it happens to the best of us.

Traveling with enough snacks to survive a natural disaster

Port’s next toxic trait is essentially the grocery-store panic shop with TSA involved. “I need to stock up,” she says. “I need to have snacks on hand. Like I really don’t like going hungry.”

Suddenly one delayed flight turns the airport into a Hunger Games arena and your carry-on becomes a doomsday pantry. Trail mix, granola bars, mini pretzels, mystery gummies from last time—all shoved into a giant tote like you’re prepping to be stranded on an island with Tom Hanks. And honestly? This makes so much sense. Travel yanks you out of routine, so your brain grabs control wherever it can…usually in the form of snacks and four backup sweaters. It’s anxious self-care disguised as overpacking.

Port even jokes about how her husband, Tim Rosenman, reacts: “kind of annoyed at first”—until he realized carrying the snack bag is easier than managing a hungry wife. “Now he’s just like, whatever, f*ck it. Like this is something Whitney needs to have to feel safe with food. I’ll carry it for her.”

That phrase—“feel safe with food”—is everything. Therapists say familiar snacks are one of the most common comfort tools during travel because food becomes the one variable you can control when everything else feels unpredictable. Forget the hunger. It’s about certainty. It’s about knowing you won’t be stuck in a middle seat praying the drink cart makes it to Row 27 before you unravel. 

Wanting to order and pay immediately at restaurants

“My toxic trait at a restaurant is something that unfortunately—or fortunately—Timmy has given me,” Port explains. “I want to order immediately and then I want to get the check immediately.” She can hang and chat once the food arrives, but the limbo moments? Pure discomfort. “I don’t love going out to eat…it’s not like a fun experience for me.”

This one hits different because it challenges a cultural norm: dining out is supposed to be fun. Treat yourself. Vibe. Linger. But for brains wired toward efficiency, restaurants feel like a series of unfinished tasks.

Experts call this task-completion anxiety, that constant hum of “I’ll relax once this is done.” It’s common among high-achievers and anxious adults who like knowing what comes next. And restaurants are literally designed to move slowly. Port’s workaround is “to have one little intentional pause before ordering,” she says, “and then after finishing…taking it all in, realizing where we’re at, who we’re with, being appreciative.”

The goal is to give yourself one tiny beat of presence so the whole experience isn’t a blur of “hurry up, hurry up.”

If you need the reminder, here it is:

You’re allowed to eat to live.

You’re allowed to like efficiency.

You’re allowed to be a get-the-check girly.

Just sprinkle in a moment or two that reminds you: yes, I’m here—and I’m actually experiencing my own life.

For more insights, tune into With Whit wherever you get your podcasts.

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