7 Brutally Honest Truths About Being a Working Mom That No One Talks About

You ever look around at the end of the day and think, What did I even do today? The house is somehow still messy, your inbox is still full, your coffee is cold, and yet you’re completely exhausted. Working mom life isn’t the soft, color-coded routine people post online. It’s chaotic, beautiful, overwhelming, and somehow still meaningful all at once.

On The Balanced Blonde // Soul on Fire, host Jordan Younger sits down with Rachael DeVaux Harlington—founder of Rachael’s Good Eats and fellow working mom—to talk about what motherhood actually looks like when the camera isn’t on.

Here are seven truths about being a working mom that hit a little too close to home.

1. You’ll never know what you did with all that free time

Before kids, being “busy” meant back-to-back meetings or a packed weekend. After kids, busy means…everything. All the time.

“You think about the time before you had a kid and it’s like, what were you doing with all your free time?” DeVaux says. “No literally,” Jordan agrees. “We just didn’t appreciate the level of time.” 

Consider this your sign to text your childless friends and tell them to take a nap for you.

2. ‘Balance’ isn’t real…you just take turns

The idea of perfectly balancing work and parenting sounds great in theory. In practice, most families are just passing the baton back and forth.

“I definitely don’t balance at all,” DeVaux says. She and her husband, Bridger—who both run their businesses from home—literally take shifts watching their 19-month-old son Hayes so the other can squeeze in a few hours of work. “We’re still not the best at it,” she admits. 

Nobody has this figured out. Some people just have better lighting and a cleaner kitchen when they post about it.

3. Working from home with kids is not the vibe you think it is

Remote work sounds dreamy until your toddler discovers your keyboard. 

“It’s kind of hard sometimes to be home and working because they see you,” DeVaux points out. Younger knows exactly what she means. With her son Atticus, she says, “I have to lock the door…he’s just banging keys on my computer. There’s no work getting done.”

The WFH-with-kids fantasy and the WFH-with-kids reality are two very different things.

4. Becoming a parent changes how you see your own parents

There’s a moment when it clicks that your parents weren’t experts…they were just tired people trying their best in real time.

“You forgive them for being human and figuring it all out,” Younger says. “Why did I ever expect them to be perfect?” Since having kids of their own, both women say they feel closer to their families than ever, and in Younger’s case, close enough that her parents actually moved down the road.

If motherhood hasn’t made you call your mom to apologize for ages 13 through 17, give it time.

5. Your night owl era is over (and that’s a tough pill)

Younger admits she’d still sleep until 9:30 a.m. if she could. 

“I’m not a morning person,” she says. “That’s a struggle for me as a mom, because obviously you kind of have to be.” By the end of the day, she says she’s sometimes so wiped she doesn’t even want to talk, just sit in silence and exist for a minute.

Your late-night era ends the moment tiny humans start waking up at sunrise. There is no negotiation.

6. Mom brain is a lifestyle

When Younger asks DeVaux to name her favorite accounts to follow, her brain simply exits the chat. 

“I really blame mom brain,” she says. Younger immediately gets it: “The blankout is so real. It happens to me all the time.” They had to circle back to the question later because not a single handle came to mind.

Science actually backs this up. Pregnancy can literally rewire your brain, and some of those changes can stick around for up to two years postpartum. So no, you’re not imagining it.

7. Stepping back is the most boss move you can make

In a world that glorifies nonstop output, slowing down can feel almost rebellious. But DeVaux reframes it. “I’ve worked on my business and my brand for the last decade—24/7, through weekends, through nights—so that I can have a bit more flexibility during this time of being a mom, which I really value,” she says.

Instead of rushing through motherhood, she chose to grow into it. To be present for it. To actually live it. Because the grind will always be waiting. Deadlines will still exist. Emails will still pile up. But your child at this exact age? This exact version of them? That window doesn’t stay open forever.

Want the full conversation? Tune into The Balanced Blonde: Soul on Fire, available wherever you listen. 

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