4 Great Goals For Your 30s

Chelsey Jade and Jaci Marie of What We Said appeared on House Guest with Kenzie Elizabeth to talk about the biggest lessons they learned in their 20s.

Now that Chelsey is officially 30 (happy birthday, girl!) the ladies are talking about what they want to leave in their 20s and what they hope to take into their 30s. If you’ve just turned 30, first of all, welcome to the club. Second of all, consider this your unofficial guidebook to being 30, flirty, and thriving. (Jennifer Garner would approve.)

Be intentional about seeing the world

Some say your 30s are like your 20s, but with more money. This may not be true for everyone, but hopefully you’re a little more established in your career and have a smidge more wiggle room in your schedule. So take that money and flexibility and make time to travel!

“I think I put off trips a lot [in my 20s],” says Chelsey. “When you’re not used to going on trips, especially traveling out of the country, it’s hard to get in the flow of it.” Chelsey advises being intentional about making travel plans. “I never purposely was not going. You kind of have to make it at the front of your mind. You have to put an effort in to make it happen. You have to look at the flights, you have to plan it. It really has to be something you’re thinking about.”

Travel is a great way to discover your roots and expand your perspective.

“I definitely want to travel to Europe,” says Chelsey. “I want to go to Italy and see where my family’s from. Maybe make it to Asia at some point.”

If travel is a goal of yours, make it a priority. As Jaci points out, “Time flies by and then you realize you haven’t traveled anywhere in a year.”

Focus less on external validation

Throughout childhood and well into her 20s, “I realized the theme was I always wanted to be seen. I wanted so badly to be seen and known and understood.” 

Wanting to be understood is totally natural, of course, but it’s easy to let that desire take over and make you lose sight of yourself. Chelsey dealt with being treated poorly, particularly in dating, because she wanted to be liked. “I hope that they like the way that I dress and the way that I look,” she recalls thinking. “I need to be doing things outwardly that made them like me more.”

Now, she’s focusing on trusting and validating herself. “I’ve been talking about my ‘villain era,’” she jokes, “where I’m not people pleasing, not trying to be something for everybody else. When you have trust in yourself and you feel confident, it makes you so much more decisive.”

She’s already noticed a shift in her “decision-making ability and confidence,” she says. “I really, truly feel like no one needs to understand me perfectly. I understand myself. I don’t need to do all these things and waste my time trying to get other people to understand me. I don’t need to be validated in that.”

After 30 years, you probably know yourself pretty well. Trust your gut and focus on what feels right to YOU—no matter what anyone else thinks of it. 

In fact, as Jaci points out, not seeking external validation may very well make it more possible. “I feel like by being more yourself, you are seen more by people. Maybe certain people don’t, but the right people will see you even more than they could before.”

Embrace your inner child

As kids, we’re desperate for adulthood. Particularly during teenage years, it’s common to try to distance ourselves from our childhood identity. But now, Chelsey says, “I feel like I’m actually closer to ‘little me’ than I am to my teenage years or my 20s. The further I get from like teenage Chelsey and like in her twenties Chelsey, I feel like I’m kind of like breaking free from her and moving back towards little six-year-old or five-year-old Chelsea. I wish I could have seen her for who she was at that time.”

Your childhood self is the purest, most undiluted version of you—and she’s always been there. The more time you spend getting to know your inner child, says Chelsey, “You realize, ‘I’m the only person I ever needed to understand me and to see me.’”

Appreciate your friends

Chelsey and Jaci have known each other since childhood, and they’re still going strong. “I’m so excited for our 30ss together,” says Jaci. As you get older, take time to notice how your friends are growing too. “You’ve always just been my favorite person, but throughout the years, I just feel like you’re becoming more yourself and more confident. It’s so fun to witness.”

Getting older means more chapters with the ones you love. You’re on this journey together, and your friends can function as both your roadmap and your fuel. “Seeing you truly step into your own power and your own vibe is so energizing to me and inspiring to me,” says Jaci. “I’m grateful for our friendship, I’m grateful for this podcast, and I’m just so excited for our 30s on this podcast too.”

Awww. 

For more advice on life, love, and friendship, listen to What We Said and House Guest.