Dr. Mindy Pelz on How to Find Yourself When You’ve Hit Your Wall

Ever sat in your car after a long day, stared blankly at your steering wheel, and thought, “Who even am I anymore?” You’re not alone and Dr. Mindy Pelz? She sees you.

On the last episode of Treated with Dr. Sara, debut guest Dr. Pelz broke down the myths and science around fasting with host Dr. Sara Szal Gottfried. In part two, Dr. Pelz tackles something even more vital: finding yourself again when life has completely drained you.

The “I’m Not Okay” Moment

Dr. Pelz did what so many of us are terrified to do: She admitted she wasn’t okay. Not just to herself but to the world.

“In the notes or in the chat, I was like, any woman here that feels like you’ve hit your wall and you are not okay, I want you to put it in the comments,” she shared. “The chat just blew up.”

Let’s pause there. Blew. Up. Because this feeling isn’t rare. It’s practically a rite of passage.

And yet, we don’t talk about it. Why? Because women, especially high-achievers in their 30s and 40s who have been “winning” at life, rarely allow themselves to voice this truth.

Dr. Pelz reflected on her own past: “I never thought about myself. I only thought about, what does everybody else need? What does the practice need? What does the family need?”

Sound familiar? It should. Because so many of us are trained from birth to be good girls. To hustle. To be productive. To be selfless. To never, ever—god forbid—rest.

The Cost of Ignoring Yourself

Dr. Pelz is clear: Ignoring those little nudges—those whispers from your soul saying hey, this isn’t working—has consequences.

“I had those nudges, I didn’t listen to them,” Dr. Pelz admitted. “I sat at the end of the day and just thought, I can’t do this. This is exhausting me.”

Instead of pausing, she pushed harder. Because that’s what we do, right? Until one day, she found herself sitting in a webinar, teaching people how to fast, fresh off evacuating her home due to wildfires, and she just blurted it out: I’m not okay.

“And the minute I said that, every piece of anxiety in me just dropped.”

Why We Stay Silent

Dr. Pelz, like so many of us, was raised in a system to value productivity above all else. “I had a dad who called me lazy a lot,” she admitted. “There was never anybody who modeled rest for me.”

And isn’t that it? The women before us—our mothers, grandmothers, aunts—ran themselves ragged, never daring to admit they needed help, and we absorbed the same mindset without questioning.

Dr. Gottfried chimed in: “Did you have anyone who modeled rest and recovery? Because my experience is all the women around me growing up were just like whirling dervishes.”

Exactly. Rest wasn’t an option. It was a failure.

The Turning Point: Owning Your Sh*t

So what’s the way out? First, own your mess. Speak the words out loud.

Dr. Pelz described how it changed for her: “I went to my parents. I went to my sister. I went to my husband. I went to one of my children. And I was like, I just need you all to know I’m not okay. And I’m going to find my way back.”

And guess what? The world didn’t end. It started to feel a little bit lighter.

Finding Yourself Again: Your 7-Step Action Plan by Dr. Mindy Pelz

Now for the good part—the part where we all do something about this.

1. Say it out loud

Let someone know you’re struggling. No more pretending. No more martyrdom. Find someone safe and say the words: I’m not okay. You’ll be amazed at how much lighter it makes you feel.

2. Get to nature

Dr. Pelz’s first instinct when she hit her limit? “Get to nature. I had to get out of the city.” The science backs it up—being in nature resets your nervous system.

3. Prioritize sleep

Not just “try to get more sleep,” but make it non-negotiable. “I told myself, I just have to sleep,” she said. And she did. And it helped. Everything else can wait. 

4. Curate your energy

This one is huge. Dr. Pelz set a rule: “If I didn’t feel safe around you, I didn’t let you in my space.” Notice who drains you versus who energizes you—then, adjust accordingly.

5. Create a ‘feel-good’ list

Every day, write down one thing that made you feel good. Bodywork, IV drips, deep conversations—whatever works for you. Build that list. Reference it. Do the things on it.

6. Laugh

Laughter is like an emotional reset button. “It feels like when you have to pee, and you finally get to pee,” Dr. Pelz joked. (IYKYK.)

7. Own your healing

This one is key. Dr. Pelz didn’t just say “I’m not okay” and wait for someone to save her. She made a plan. “I don’t want pity. I’m healing me.”

That ownership is where true power lies.

Your Permission Slip

If you’ve been feeling lost, overwhelmed, or disconnected from yourself,  consider this your official permission to stop. Stop pretending you’re fine. Stop pushing past your breaking point. Stop ignoring what your mind and body are telling you.

The path back to yourself doesn’t involve doing more. It’s about listening to what you already know: You were never lost. You just forgot to listen.

Now take that nap. Dr. Mindy Pelz would approve.