Kevin Smith Made ‘Dogma.” Now He’s Debunking Marriage Dogma Too

When Kevin Smith—the filmmaker who gave us Clerks, Dogma, and every Star Wars-tinged Jay & Silent Bob cameo—drops relationship wisdom, you listen and take notes. 

On Endless Honeymoon, Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kasher’s podcast about the realities of long-term relationships, Smith peels back 26 years of wedded reality bliss with former journalist Jennifer Schwalbach Smith and serves up advice every millennial needs. 

Celebrate your differences

Smith and Schwalbach aren’t relationship clones—and that’s the point. As Smith t explains, “It’s f**king fine that we bicker when we do because we’re two f**king people…monogamy is a thing that we invented…So from time to time, it makes f**king utter sense that…you and I are two completely different people.”

Translation? Stop expecting your partner to be your personality twin. Differences fuel attraction and growth, not doom. So the next time your partner picks the unusual route home or buys throw pillows you’d never choose, borrow Smith’s shrug and remember that variety keeps the spark alive.

Clock the decades—and the lessons

A quarter-century of marriage gives Smith plenty of real-world perspective. He and his wife also share a daughter, Harley Quinn Smith, and Schwalbach Smith resigned from her position at MTV when she became pregnant. 

Longevity isn’t accidental; it’s stitched together with micro-decisions to stay, evolve, and laugh mid-fight. The multi-hyphenate reminds us that years are earned, not gifted. When you feel stuck in year two and slip into doom-scrolling Tinder, zoom out. The inside jokes, the shared history, the comfort of knowing someone has seen you at your worst and chosen to stick around—all that takes time to build.

Use lists, praise, and rewards to keep the relationship alive

ADHD brains, perfectionist partners, messy kitchens—sound familiar? Smith’s solution is simple: “One thing that we people like us need is actually a little bit of positive reinforcement when we do get stuff done.”

He even co-signs Kasher’s cheeky incentive plan: A completed to-do list earns sexy extracurricular perks. The pro tip here is structure plus celebration. Make the list, cross it off, then high-five (or get low with) your partner. Adults need gold stars, too—and a pearl necklace here and there keeps everyone smiling.

Own your lane and finish what you start

Smith laughs about tackling projects halfway—but he knows the fallout: “Don’t start a bunch of tasks that aren’t your job.”

Whether it’s guava-jam experiments at 9 p.m. or half-loaded dishwashers, unfinished tasks spike resentment faster than a Love Is Blind reunion—divvy chores by strength. Maybe you cook, they handle garbage; you pay bills, they wrangle kids’ lunches. Then commit to the follow-through. Your relationship isn’t a group project where one partner can coast.

Check your defensiveness at the door

When Jennifer comments on his odd navigation choices, Smith confesses, “In moments like that, I get defensive, and then I just kinda settle back…”

Notice the arc: knee-jerk bristle, then breathe, reflect, move on. We all flash the emotional porcupine needles; the trick is retracting them before you puncture the vibe. Next time criticism lands, channel Smith’s pause—your future Saturday brunch will thank you.

Perfectly imperfect is the goal

As Kevin Smith reminds us, couples are “two f**king people…trapped in a f**king marriage” —and that’s not a complaint; it’s a love letter to imperfection. So, here’s a reminder to:

• Embrace the quirks.
• Celebrate long-haul milestones.
• Build reward systems that feel fun, not parental.
• Finish the damn dishes (or outsource them).
• And when tempers flare, breathe before you bark.

These simple tips will put you on the path to your own decades-long, Kevin Smith-approved marriage highlight reel. The F-bombs, of course, are optional.