Exploring the Ins and Outs of Female Pleasure

Let’s talk about something we should have learned in sex ed but didn’t (especially for those of us who went to Catholic school): female pleasure. Thankfully, Ruby Rare, a sex educator, and Megan Barton-Hanson, an OnlyFans creator, are on it. In the latest episode of The Ins & Outs with Ruby & Megan, our favorite dynamic duo dive deep (pun absolutely intended) into the wild, wonderful, and sometimes mystifying world of the female orgasm. Trust us; this is the education we all deserve.

The Clitoris: More Than Just a Little Love Button

Before we get into the juicy details from the podcast, let’s drop some science—because knowledge is power, and in this case, it’s orgasmic power. The clitoris is not just that tiny nub you (hopefully) know about; it’s an entire internal structure, much like an iceberg. This magical organ has around 8,000 nerve endings, which is double the number found in the penis. (New scientific studies suggest that the actual number may be even higher). These nerve endings extend internally, wrapping around the vaginal walls like a secret pleasure network. As Ruby so eloquently put it in the episode: “If the clitoris were a man, it would demand a full-page feature in Forbes for being the most powerful pleasure organ in existence,” says Ruby in the episode.

Touché, Ruby. Touché.

The Orgasm Gap: Why Are We Still Talking About This?

One of the more maddening realities of modern sex is the “orgasm gap.” You know, that little fact that men typically reach climax far more often than women do during heterosexual encounters. Megan, always the straight shooter, didn’t hold back: “I swear, if I hear one more guy say ‘I thought she was into it’ when he’s been jackhammering like a malfunctioning washing machine, I’m going to scream.”

Preach, Megan. The truth is, women need more than just penetration to reach orgasm. In fact, studies show that only about 18% of women orgasm from penetration alone. The rest need clitoral stimulation, which somehow still seems to shock people in 2025.

So what’s the solution? Communication, obviously. Ruby and Megan emphasize the importance of speaking up about what works for you. “If you don’t tell them,” Ruby says, “they’ll just keep doing that thing where they think they’re DJing your clit at a rave.”

Toys, Techniques, and Taking Control

Another highlight of this episode was the discussion about sex toys and self-pleasure. If you’re not incorporating toys into your sex life (alone or with a partner), you’re basically using a flip phone in the age of the iPhone 15. “There is literally no reason not to own at least one high-quality vibrator. If you can spend $7 on a latte every day, you can invest in a damn orgasm,” Megan says.

She’s onto something. Studies show that 52% of women who use vibrators report stronger orgasms, better arousal, and improved sexual satisfaction overall.

Beyond toys, Ruby and Megan dive into various techniques. Megan makes an excellent point about how different strokes (literally) work for different folks: “Some women love direct clitoral stimulation, and some will straight-up karate chop your hand if you go in too aggressively. The key is to ask and listen.”

That, my friends, is the gospel truth.

Fun Facts to Blow Your Mind (And Hopefully Other Things)

Since we’re in the business of education today, let’s sprinkle in a few more science-backed fun facts about the clitoris, shall we?

• The clitoris keeps growing throughout your life. By the time you hit menopause, it can be up to three times larger than when you were a teenager. Who said aging was all bad?
• It’s the only organ in the human body designed exclusively for pleasure. That’s right—no reproduction, no secondary function. Just pure, undiluted pleasure.
• A clitoral orgasm can last up to 20 seconds, which, by comparison, is about four times longer than the average male orgasm.
• The internal part of the clitoris can expand when aroused, similar to how the penis becomes erect—because, fun fact, they develop from the same embryonic tissue.

Demand More (And Give More, Too)

The biggest takeaway from Ruby and Megan’s deep dive? We need to stop treating female pleasure like a bonus and start treating it like a necessity. Women shouldn’t be “grateful” when they orgasm; it should be an expected, non-negotiable part of sex.

And as Megan so wisely summed it up: “If he’s not prioritizing your pleasure, he’s not good in bed. Period.”

So go forth, demand more, communicate clearly, and—for the love of all things good—stop faking it. The only performance worth giving is the one that actually feels good.