Dating apps, for many introverted girlies, are like a breath of fresh air. These apps have changed the dating game and made it easier to put yourself out there and meet cuties. Who would’ve thought a few years ago that meeting new people could be as easy as swiping left and right? But here we are!
It’s exciting to have the convenience of having romance at your fingertips 24/7. BUT and this is a big but, starting a conversation with someone you’ve never met face-to-face can be SO HARD!! You’ve matched with someone who might tick all your boxes. Then . . . what on earth do you say?
Now, you’ll want to make your first message count because it’s your one shot to make a killer first impression and maybe meet “The One.” This means that your opening line has to be on point.
So, what’s a girl to do? Don’t worry! We’ve got you. Today, we’ll share our roundup of conversation starters to help you skip the awkward small talk and get that phone number ASAP!
Let’s jump in!
How To Start A Conversation On A Dating App
Starting a conversation on a dating app can feel like stepping into a spotlight. But guess what? You’re actually the star of this show. It’s your chance to show off your personality, make a connection, and see if there’s any chemistry between you and your match.
Here are a few ways to make that first move a little easier:
- Be Yourself: It might sound cliché, but nothing puts people off faster than someone being fake. You don’t need to try too hard, lie, or come up with a cheesy scripted line. Just be genuine. The right person will appreciate you for who you are.
- Keep it Light and Fun: Your first message should be friendly and approachable. A little humor can go a long way in making a great first impression.
- Be Confident: Don’t overthink it. The person you’re messaging is likely just as eager to connect or nervous as you are. Besides, if you sometimes find it hard to make friends with social anxiety, starting a conversation online can be a lot easier than doing it in person.
Overall, just be natural, express what interests you, be genuinely interested in your match, and let the conversation flow freely from there. Lindsey from We Met at Acme has some more dating app tips you can listen to on How To Crush It On Dating Apps ft. Bre and Shelby.
8 Dating App Conversation Starters
Play a “Would you rather?” game.
A “Would you rather?” game is a great way to break the ice. It sets the tone for a playful back-and-forth that can quickly lead to laughs and a few surprises.
Besides, it’s an easy way to share more about yourselves in a way that feels natural rather than forced. Their answers to silly scenarios can reveal different sides to their personalities, including their likes and dislikes.
Some questions you could use include:
- “Would you rather travel to the past or future? And why?“
- “Would you rather everyone hear your thoughts or livestream everything you do for the rest of your life?”
- “If you could have any superpower for a day, would you rather be able to fly or be invisible?”
- “Would you rather give up music or movies for the rest of your life?”
The beauty of “Would you rather?” questions are how quickly they can lead the conversation in different directions.
Compliment something on their profile.
People love to be seen, and what better way to make someone feel seen than by going through their profile to understand who they are? Complimenting something on their profile works like a charm. It shows that you’re genuinely interested in them since you took the time to check their bio.
It could be a hobby they’ve mentioned, their favorite song, a travel destination they’ve been to, or simply how they’ve worded their bio. Pet owners often love talking about their furry friends. So, if they mentioned their pet in their profile, that could be a good opening.
Or, if they have a photo from their recent trip to Bali, you could start with something like, “That Bali pic is stunning! How was the trip?” This compliments their picture and gives them a chance to share a story.
Share something quirky about yourself.
This is a fun and playful way to strike up a convo without being overly serious. Dropping a random fun fact or unique talent in your first message shows you have personality—and personality is downright irresistible!
Why is this such a good conversation starter? Because it shows you’re real. We all have our quirks, and sharing them shows you’re comfortable in your own skin. It also invites your match to open up and share something fun about themselves.
You could kick things off with something like, “I can solve a Rubik’s cube in under a minute. It’s weirdly relaxing!” Or “Fun fact: I can’t start my day without dancing to my favorite Ariana Grande playlist even if I’m still half asleep!” This sets a playful tone for the conversation. Plus, it’s a great way to say, “Hey, I’m fun, and I don’t take myself too seriously.”
Comment on a shared interest.
There’s nothing like bonding over something you both love to get the conversation flowing and the sparks flying. Starting with a shared interest is like hitting the sweet spot in a conversation. It’s familiar, comfortable, and can lead to an instant connection.
Doing this gives you both something to talk about that means something to you. So rather than beating around the bush, you can have a conversation that’s engaging and genuine rather than awkward and forced.
For example, if you both mentioned your love for running in your profiles. You could kick things off by saying, “I see we’re both into running! What’s the longest distance you’ve done?”
Ask open-ended questions.
You should ask open-ended questions when you want to keep the conversation rolling and really get to know someone beyond the basics. Unlike yes-or-no questions that can lead to dead-ends, open-ended questions allow your match to share more about themselves. Plus, a well-thought-out question shows you’re actually interested in connecting.
So, instead of asking, “Do you like to travel?” (which would obviously lead to a boring “yes” or “no”), try something like, “If you could hop on a plane to anywhere right now, where would you go and why?” Or “What’s the most interesting thing you’ve learned recently?” You could even ask if they have a bucket list and which things they’d ones they’s ticked off.
Now, if you notice they aren’t responding with more than one-word answers, it might be a sign they’re not putting in as much effort. They should also be interested in asking you open-ended questions, too. If not, move on to your next match.
Start with a funny icebreaker.
Nothing melts away that initial awkwardness like a good laugh. Humor is always an excellent conversation starter; it shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously and are here to have fun. Besides, who doesn’t love to laugh?
Funny icebreakers show off your personality right away. People are intrigued by someone who can find humor in everyday moments. Plus, cracking a joke requires confidence—two major green flags in one fell swoop! Major points for you.
Starting with a joke also helps you weed out people who aren’t on the same wavelength as you. If they don’t appreciate your sense of humor, it might not be the best match, anyway.
But, if they come back with a witty response of their own? You’ve just found someone who can keep up with your banter. And that’s a promising start to any relationship.
Ask what they want in a partner.
If you want to cut right to the chase, ask them a question about their dream partner. It might sound bold, but hey, fortune favors the brave, right?
Asking them what they want in a partner shows you’re there to find someone who aligns with your values and goals. After all, you’re not here to waste time with people who aren’t on the same page.
Start with something like, “So, what’s your idea of the perfect partner? I’m curious what really matters to you in a relationship.” You could also say, “If you could describe your ideal long-term relationship in three words, what would they be?”
These questions cut through the fluff and get straight to what they’re looking for. And trust us, in online dating, that can be super refreshing.
Suggest meeting in person.
We’ll tell you the truth: suggesting a meetup to someone you’ve just met online can be a REALLY REALLY (two for emphasis) bold move. And, it might not work for everyone.
However, it’s confident and shows you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them beyond the screen. It shows initiative. And, some guys love women who make the first move. Our girl Molly at Lipstick on the Rim gives her take on this in On Dating In Today’s Era, Sex On The First Date, & Why You Should Make The First Move.
If you’ve been vibing with someone on a dating app sparks are flying, chemistry is just right, what do you have to lose? Absolutely nothing! Besides, you’d have to know sooner or later if the chemistry translates IRL. Their response will also tell you if they are actually interested or not.
So, say something like, “We’ve had some good conversations. How about we continue this over coffee sometime?” Or “This chat has me craving boba. We should go sometime!”
Send that first message like a pro!
We’ve given you a gold mine of dating app conversation starters that are tried and true. Now it’s time to get out there and put them to work! Want more ideas? Listen to the We Met At Acme episode Dating App Prompts, Anti-Ghost Texts, and What Matters When Sliding Into DMs.
Let us know in the comments which one of these you used and how it went.
You can also head over to our Dear Media blog and podcast catalog for more dating dos and don’ts. And while you’re at it, check out some of our killer merch items that are basically made for your dating app adventures. Like this Don’t Text First Tote (a gentle reminder to let them make the first move once in a while) or the Please Don’t Ask Crew (if you like to keep it mysterious).
