10 Dating Tips for Single Moms Who Are Ready To Date Again

Hey there, Superwoman! Yes, YOU, the badass babe shining extra bright thanks to those kiddos who call you Mom. That mom glow is something to be proud of, regardless of your relationship status. And yet, despite there being over 6 million single moms in the U.S., people still have a hard time viewing dating as a single mother in a positive light. It’s like, the minute you mention dating, everyone around you suddenly starts word-vomiting everything you shouldn’t do, which paints a pretty bleak picture for a single parent, am I right?

First off, step away from the haters. Treat those negative stereotypes like the latest sickness going around your kid’s school and keep them far, FAR away from you. Here’s the truth: dating as a single mom might feel intimidating and even impossible at times, but it’s nothing compared to the challenges and responsibilities you face every day. Oh, and just in case you’re unsure, yes, you DO deserve companionship and a fulfilling relationship just as much as a child-free woman. 

That said, when you first decide to date again it’s totally normal to feel like a kid who got separated from their mom at the grocery store. No worries, though we got you! We’ve rounded up the best, most practical, and effective dating tips for single moms to help you navigate the stocked aisles of dating and ultimately find love again.

10 Dating Tips for Single Moms Who Are Ready To Date Again

How To Balance Being A Single Mom & Dating

Remember your child comes first, always.

Of all the dating tips we can offer, this is the one to keep at the forefront of your mind. You are, above all else, a mother. You’re probably the single most important person in your child’s life. Depending on their age, they may or may not know what it means for you to be dating again, but it’s important to consider how it might impact them, even before you meet someone special.

Every child reacts differently to change. It’s up to you to assure them that they will always be your top priority, and then show them by acknowledging their worries and continuing to be present for them. If you end up finding someone who seems to be your perfect match, but they don’t fit well with your child, it should be a deal-breaker. So, be prepared to walk away if that’s the case. 

Let go of the guilt.

Ugh, mom guilt is the worst. It’ll convince you that you’re never doing enough for your kids, which can make you second guess re-entering the dating pool. In reality, your happiness is important, too. In the words of the fabulous Gabby Bernstein, host of Dear Gabby, you need to stop feeling guilty for being happy. 

The same goes for any guilt you might feel while trying to find love. You’re not only looking out for yourself, but for your children, too. Don’t feel like you’re being too selective or too strict with your boundaries when you’re only doing what’s necessary for you and your child’s well-being.

Practice effective communication.

You can know how to smooth talk a man until he’s putty in your hands and still be a sh*tty communicator. Balancing being a single mom and dating requires effective communication. This means being transparent from the very beginning. Be clear about your expectations and your priorities. The right person for you will understand, and they will do their part to make it work.

Plan ahead.

As a single mom, you are probably already better than most at planning ahead. But if you are ready to date again, you need to have a new plan in place. Before you re-enter the dating scene, you need to have a set plan regarding childcare and time management. Come up with a schedule of when you are available for potential dates and make sure you leave enough time for quality time with your kids. 

How To Start Dating As A Single Mom

Think about what you want.

As you begin your search for love, think about what you as a woman and as a mom need in a relationship. What qualities are you looking for in a potential partner? What are your deal-breakers? What’s your ultimate goal in dating? Knowing these things ahead of time makes it easier to weed out the misfits and zero in on your perfect match.

If you need some inspiration, we recommend listening to Trying Not To Care: Stop Being Subtle About What You Want and Well with Arielle Lorre: Manifestation, Relationships, Raising Your Vibration & How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection.

Take the pressure off.

Remember that mom guilt you said goodbye to earlier? Take all the pressure you put on yourself when you decided to date again and throw it out the window, too. Dating is supposed to be fun! You’re already dealing with the constant pressure of raising good humans, so you don’t need to add the weight of finding “the one” right away. Focus instead on getting out there, meeting new people, and having a good time.

Take it slow.

Dating is exciting and it can be tempting to dive right in, but don’t rush! Even when you’re totally convinced you found your perfect match, itt’s important to take time to get to know each other and make sure that you are both on the same page in all aspects of your relationship, for your child’s sake just as much as yours. 

Wait to introduce your kids.

Taking it slow also means waiting to introduce your kids to someone. Ultimately, it’s up to you to introduce them in a way that works for you and your kids, but a gradual approach tends to work best for most people. To help your kids get comfortable with the thought of you being in a new relationship, start by casually broaching the topic and gradually easing them into it. When the time is right, meet somewhere neutral and, if possible, at a place where everyone feels safe and comfortable.

Consider online dating.

If you don’t have a lot of free time to dedicate to meeting someone new, or if you have a hard time meeting new people, online dating might be the perfect solution! Dating apps are often associated with casual hookups (which is fine if that’s what you’re looking for), but there are still plenty of other people who use dating sites to look for more meaningful connections.

Plus, a lot of dating profiles include whether or not the person is interested in dating a single mom, which saves time and frustration. Don’t worry there are plenty of people out there who aren’t too intimidated to date a single parent!

How To Know When You’re Ready To Date Again

So, when should a single mom start dating again? The simple answer to this question is whenever she decides she’s ready. But, of course, it isn’t always that simple. Like, how are you supposed to know you’re actually ready and not just lonely (or horny)? Even the experts can’t agree on a timeline–some recommend waiting three months while others suggest waiting as long as two years.

Let’s be real. No one knows you better than you know yourself, so only you can know when the time is right. Ideally, this realization will come to you when you’ve completely moved on from your last relationship and feel good about re-entering the dating pool. It’s also important to make sure you have the physical capacity to date again, meaning you can effectively manage your current responsibilities when dating is thrown into the mix.

For example, think about how much free time you currently have and then ask yourself if you’re willing to dedicate that time to potential dates and what it would require to do so (think childcare, finances, etc.). Your answer is a pretty good clue as to whether or not you’re ready to start dating.

Now get out there, have some fun, and maybe even find your next great love!

Consider all that you’ve accomplished so far as a single mom. You’re totally killing it, and we have no doubt that, with the help of the tips above, navigating the dating scene will be a walk in the park!

There are a bunch of other helpful posts on dating on the blog, like “How To Find Someone On A Dating App,” so be sure to check those out! Also, scroll through this collection of highly-rated Dear Media shows to find your next great love… in podcasts, that is.