Can a Relationship Survive if You Disagree Politically?

The era of relationships like James Carville and Mary Matalin’s—a political power couple with staunchly opposing ideologies—feels like a thing of the past. These days, politics has become intertwined with personal identity, and even a solid relationship can turn into what feels like a televised debate. Harry Hamlin encapsulates it on Let’s Not Talk About The Husband: “Politics right now are insane, and what’s going on in our country is insane,” he notes, something his wife, Lisa Rinna, seconds. Rinna points out that some families “can’t even be in the same room together” once the political ideology tensions start flaring. 

So, where does that leave romance? Find out as the hosts tackle a listener’s plea about loving across party lines and lay out a roadmap for keeping a relationship alive when your ballots don’t align.

Why politics feel so personal today

The caller’s question—“How do you navigate politics when your significant other is on the opposite side of the aisle?”—lands with many because today’s divide is less policy, more identity. Rinna notes that friends have cut ties over votes, while Hamlin blames an information firehose, remarking that “there’s so much propaganda out there today.” 

With dueling networks are telling “exactly the opposite story,” couples end up fight about what’s even true before they can discuss what to do about it. It’s little wonder Hamlin shakes his head. “There’s one truth, one reality,” he muses. When the media makes that truth fuzzy, even a sushi date can spiral into a Senate filibuster.

The first rule: defuse the debate early

As far as Hamlin’s concerned, politics have no place in a relationship. “I would say that you wanna stay away from that discussion as much as possible,” he says. He’s not suggesting ignorance—he’s prescribing self-preservation. 

When tempers flare, he adds a safety PSA: “Do not keep sharp objects or loaded guns or anything like that near you when you’re having any discussions about politics.” Talk policy after yoga, not during a doom-scroll session. 

Above all else, remember that the drama on the Real Housewives franchise is for entertainment purposes only, and not to be mimicked in real life. In other words, keep the wine glasses in the curio cabinet, and never whip out a kitchen knife on a loved one for any reason whatsoever.

Empathy sets the ground rules

With that said, Hamlin’s politics seem self-evident, remarking that “anybody who has empathy is woke.”

Rinna takes it one step further, noting, “If they’re coming from that place of hate…you wanna run, not walk. You need to be at least in a relationship that comes from softness and empathy.” 

In practice, that means listening without eye-rolling, asking why a policy matters to your partner, and rejecting cruelty—online or off. 

Ask the hard question before the first kiss

While most modern dating apps already screen height and horoscopes, Hamlin says politics belong on that checklist, too. Before that first kiss, you better find out,” if they bleed red or blue, he suggests. 

A slight political difference won’t make or break a relationship, but it is all but impossible to sustain a relationship with someone on the ideological extreme opposite. A red hat-wearing MAGA loyalist likely scrolls past any profile flaunting the watermelon emoji of Palestinian solidarity. And if sparks do fly, the friction of opposing worldviews usually snuffs them out by dessert.

When extremes make a relationship impossible

Constant contempt corrodes intimacy, and the hosts refuse to romanticize that erosion. Rinna’s red line is hate speech, but even nonstop news can poison affection. Her rule of thumb: “Do not talk about Washington D.C.,” and “Don’t let him or her keep the news on 24/7.” If your living room feels like a cable studio, turn it off.

Practical ground rules for mixed-politics couples

Couples who still want to try can borrow the hosts’ survival kit:

• Limit the news cycle. Hamlin dreams of nights spent “[making] love and [having] dinner and [cooking] food” instead of refreshing the polls.
• Fact-check together. With “two separate realities” on-air, agree on neutral sources before debating stats.
• Time important conversations. Choose calm, well-fed moments—no midnight scroll fights.
• Protect shared spaces. Declare the bedroom and vacation days politics-free zones to let romance breathe.

Protect the relationship and your peace

Hamlin admits the current political climate “is gonna have implications historically that will go on for potentially hundreds of years,” yet neither host wants your love life held hostage by Capitol Hill chaos. Follow their blueprint—screen early, center empathy, set boundaries, and refuse cruelty. Do that, and a politically mixed relationship has the potential to thrive.