How to Unleash Your Inner Confidence

There’s a pivotal moment in every woman’s life when the constant self-doubt begins to fade. When the frantic screenshotting of text convos for group chat analysis slows down. When you realize obsessing over someone else’s moves just isn’t worth the energy. And when the desperate need for external validation finally takes a backseat to something far more important—your self-worth.

In a recent We Met At Acme episode, comedian, actress, and overall that girl Sabrina Brier brought some laughs and insightful wisdom in her observations. And at the heart of it all? Confidence. Real, unshakeable, inner confidence. The kind that doesn’t need a hype squad or a validation committee to exist.

How to Unleash Your Inner Confidence

Step One: Reclaim Your Center

We’ve all been there—falling into the trap of making our love lives the center of our universe. But as Sabrina wisely pointed out, something shifts as you grow: “We actually already have our lives,” Sabrina says. “It’s a little bit more of ‘does this fit or not,’ as opposed to ‘that will be my life.’”

Read that again. Does this fit? As Sabrina puts it, “Your energy is different when you’re looking at something as an addition to your life as opposed to like the meaning of your life.” Inner confidence flourishes (and so do strong relationships) when your life is already fulfilling on its own, not when you’re desperately seeking someone to complete the picture. Your career, passions, and friendships are the pillars of your happiness. A partner? That’s just an addition, not the foundation.

Step Two: Protect Your Energy (And Your Time)

One of confidence’s hardest but most necessary lessons is learning that not everyone deserves your time. As Sabrina puts it: “It stops being fun to just give your free time to someone who doesn’t deserve it.”

You wouldn’t hand your paycheck to someone who barely puts in effort—so why hand out your time? Confidence means knowing your value and treating your time as a precious, non-refundable resource.

Step Three: Set Your Standards Early

We’ve all seen it happen—the girl who goes out of her way to be chill, low maintenance, and not “ask for too much.” But what happens when she finally does want more? She’s already cemented a dynamic where she’s the one who gives and expects little in return.

Sabrina and Lindsay talked about this with a very important analogy: “A relationship is like cement, right? You want to mold it before it gets hard.”

If you don’t establish expectations early, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment later. Whether you want flowers, thoughtful gestures, or just basic respect, say it, show it, and (most importantly) stick to it.

Step Four: Don’t Dim Your Light for Someone Else

One of the most frustrating realities of dating while being a successful, confident woman is that some men just can’t handle it. “I think there’s a lot of guys who think they can handle it. But actually, they can’t,” Sabrina says.

If you find yourself dating someone who needs you to shrink so they can shine, run. The right person will celebrate your success, not compete with it.

Step Five: Know That You Are Never “Too Much”

The phrase “too much” gets thrown around a lot. Too loud, too opinionated, too successful, too ambitious. But let’s flip that narrative.

“Are you too much, or are they just not enough?” Lindsay shares on the pod.

Mic. Drop.

Confidence means standing in who you are, fully and unapologetically. The people who can’t handle it? That’s their loss.

Confidence Is a Journey, Not a Destination

There’s no overnight fix to becoming the most self-assured version of yourself. Confidence builds over time through small choices and big moments of realization, through setting boundaries, learning to say no, and shifting your focus away from those who don’t deserve your energy.

“You have to help someone. If you don’t communicate your needs, they won’t magically know them,” Sabrina says, summing it up best.

So, take the time to figure out what you need, what you deserve, and what makes you happy. Then? Let your light shine—down, out, and all around. Because when a confident woman walks into the room, the right people will take notice.

For more hilarious and insightful dating wisdom, check out the full conversation with Sabrina Brier on the We Met At Acme podcast.