The Two Words That Will Change How You Deal with Drama Forever

Spiraling over someone who ghosted you? Stressing about a friend’s shady choices? Pulling your hair out over family drama? Mel Robbins has a two-word response that’s taking over social media for you: Let them.

The bestselling author and podcast host has introduced a mindset shift that is so powerful in its simplicity that it’s transforming how we handle relationships, drama, and life’s daily frustrations. Here’s why everyone’s talking about the “Let Them” theory. 

What Is the “Let Them” Theory?

Robbins—who has sat down on The Squeeze, The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast, and most recently, Khloé in Wonder Land—breaks it down to basics: “There’s only three things you can control in life: what you think, what you do or don’t do, and how you process your emotions. That’s it. That’s all you got. And that’s all you need.”

Enter the Let Them approach. Instead of exhausting yourself managing other people’s behavior, reactions, and emotions, Robbins says to just let them. Let your ex move on. Let your friend cancel plans. Let your coworker be passive-aggressive. Let your family have their opinions. When you stop trying to control other people and focus on what you can control—your own thoughts, actions, and emotions—you regain your peace.

The Moment That Started It All

Robbins discovered this theory in an unexpected moment of mom-meltdown. On The Squeeze, she told the story of her son’s high school prom—an event she was micromanaging in typical mom fashion—when her daughter grabbed her arm and said: “Mom. Let them. If they want to go to a taco stand in the rain, let them.”

This simple intervention sparked a revelation. Why was she making other people’s choices her problem? Why was she absorbing their stress as her own? Why was she not just… letting them?

She built on this insight during In a recent conversation with Khloé Kardashian, Robbins expanded on this insight, addressing a common misconception about feeling trapped in situations. “You can always leave any relationship. You’re not stuck. That’s a lie you tell yourself.”

Whether it’s a toxic friend, a draining job, or a situationship that’s going nowhere, you have more power than you think—and sometimes, the first step is simply stepping back and observing.

Why “Let Them” Changes Everything

The magic happens when you realize how much time and energy you’ve wasted on things outside your control. You create freedom for yourself when you let people be who they are without constantly intervening, manipulating, or managing. And according to Robbins, that’s when life starts to feel easier.“Learning how to literally stop trying to control things and other people that I can’t control has created so much peace and freedom in my life.”

And guess what? It also makes you a better partner, friend, and family member. On Khloé in Wonder Land, Robbins asked,”Why are we giving the worst to the people we love the most?”

We waste so much energy trying to change people who don’t want to change instead of giving our best energy to those who already show up for us. Let Them isn’t about apathy—it’s about priorities.

Real-Life Examples of “Let Them” in Action

• Your friend posts about a party you weren’t invited to? Let them.
• Your boss is in a terrible mood and taking it out on everyone? Let them.
• Your partner doesn’t do the dishes the way you like? Let them.
• Your mom still doesn’t understand why you quit your corporate job? Let her.

Does that mean you accept mistreatment or never set boundaries? Absolutely not. This is about acknowledging that people reveal who they are through their actions. Your power lies in how you respond.

The Essential Second Step: “Let Me”

The “Let Them” philosophy comes with a crucial second part: “Let Me.”

Many people who start practicing “Let Them” feel lonely or disconnected. That’s because when you stop managing others, you might notice a shift in your relationships. You suddenly notice who reciprocates your energy and who doesn’t when you’re no longer overcompensating or controlling situations.

Robbins emphasizes that once you let others be themselves, you must decide how you want to show up. “Let me remind myself: I get to choose what I think next. I get to choose what I do in response. I get to choose how I’m going to process these emotions.”

How “Let Them” Transforms Relationships

Robbins tested this approach in her own marriage. Instead of fixating on her husband Chris’s slow processing speed or his habit of stacking Amazon boxes by the door, she practiced saying, “Let him.” The result? Less friction, more peace.

“When you say ‘let them,’ you detach from trying to control someone, and instead, you focus on how you’re going to respond,” she explains.

The same goes for friendships, family, and dating. Instead of changing people into who you want them to be, watch how they naturally show up in your life. Then, decide: Do I want this?

Taking Back Your Power

The Let Them Theory is about power—taking it back from the people and situations you’ve given it to. When you stop spending your time managing others, you reclaim your energy for yourself. You gain confidence, set better boundaries, and feel lighter.

And next time you catch yourself about to spiral over someone else’s actions? Just pause and remember: Let them. And then? Let yourself live.