Relationships

Are You Being Clingy or Is It Just Your Love Language?

By Stephanie Taylor | July 10, 2025

Do you love spending quality time with your beau? Can you spend hours in the presence of the people you love without saying a word? If you checked yes to those boxes, your love language (there are five!) might be quality time. You’re not alone—it’s the most common love language.

You might pride yourself on being low maintenance. C’mon, just look at your counterparts. The acts of service lovers require their partners to put in work. Clean those dishes and cook dinner to show you care. The gift lovers need little tokens of appreciation (sometimes, not so little or so cheap) to feel loved and appreciated. But you, on the other hand, just need some good ‘ol quality time.

We hate to break it to you, but even quality time lovers can be a bit high-maintenance too. Think about those moments when you get frustrated because your partner isn’t texting back right away, or when you feel like you need to be with them 24/7. Don’t worry—needing quality time isn’t the issue; it’s about how you communicate it. So for all the quality time lovers out there who feel a little misunderstood or unloved, here’s how to give and receive love in the way you truly need.

Clinginess is not the problem

You’re not clingy—that’s just how you show love. For people who value quality time, they require undivided attention from the people they love. If you are on the receiving end of a partner who is constantly calling you “clingy” or “needy,” it is hurtful to hear. Also, it is an indicator of a bigger issue—There’s a need not being met in your relationship.

What does quality time look like

Time is a limited, and valuable resource. Quality time means no phones, no apps, and no doom scrolling. It’s giving your partner the undivided attention they want and need. It might look like going for a walk or going out for dinner and talking over a nice meal. It’s about locking eyes with someone, giving someone your full focus, and doing activities that the other person enjoys wholeheartedly.

“Quality time is giving someone your undivided attention. If you are doing something you cannot turn away from, tell your partner the truth. Most partners will accept that request,” says Violet Benson, host of Almost Adulting.

How to love someone whose love language is quality time

When you don’t spend time with a quality time lover, it essentially leaves them on empty. It’s hard to do anything when you are feeling depleted and unfulfilled. When there is a lack of time spent together, the other person’s love tank will be empty. They feel so little love toward them that they might lash out or become extremely negative because they don’t feel secure.

When you are trying to figure out how to love someone whose love language is quality time, consider things they enjoy doing. Make a list. It might be going for a hike, taking your partner on a picnic, talking at the end of a busy workday, or taking an annual vacation. Once you have a list, you need to act.

“Quality activities provide a memory bank to draw from in the years ahead,” Benson says. “They are just as essential to our marriage and partnerships as food is to our health.”

The activity is a just tool or vehicle toward togetherness. The result is more connectedness and closeness.