How To Be A Good Partner or Spouse
All committed relationships take a lot of effort. It’s worth it, don’t get us wrong! We can’t live the single life forever, can we? Well for anyone that enjoys the occasional monogamous relationship, it’s important to do your part and try to be a good partner. Relationships can be tough, and there is a lot of emotion involved. Heats are on the line! And as they say, it takes two to tango. So that’s why it’s so important to recognize what it takes to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner and how to show up as the best partner possible.
Positive relationships have an open line of communication and strong love between spouses. It takes a lot of compromise and respect to always be on optimal terms with your partner! Knowing how to be a good partner takes intention, time, and of course practice. And don’t think it’s a perfect road to a fulfilling relationship, expect a lot of bumps in the road!
As if it couldn’t get any more complicated, no two relationships are the same. They’re all influenced by the culture, interests, your upbringing, experiences, past trauma, personality, and feelings of two people who made the choice to be together. Since unfortunately quality relationships don’t just magically happen overnight, you need to to work at it. Yes, on top of your career goals, body goals, house goals, add relationship goals to the list! That’s why today’s post is all about love and relationships. We’re sharing with you our top tips for how to be a better partner and build a quality relationship!
How To Be A Good Partner or Spouse
Show appreciation for your partner every day.
In general, this world needs more gratitude. And your relationship might be an ideal place to start. Everyone wants to know their partner is grateful for them. That’s just how a romantic relationship works! Research has even linked expressing gratitude for one another in a relationship to an increase in relationship maintenance behaviors. So if you want your relationship to last, show your partner how much you appreciate them every single day. Expressing gratitude for them doesn’t have to implicate an expensive date night every other evening. It can just be little acts of service, like making them a cup of coffee in the mornings, or simply saying thank you, I appreciate you. Just make sure your partner knows you’re grateful to share a life with them.
Take care of yourself as an individual.
It’s important to take proper care of yourself so you’re in the right headspace to nurture a romantic relationship. You can’t show up for your partner if you don’t show up for yourself. So make sure outside of the relationship you do the things that make you happy, help you grown, and move you towards your personal goals. You need to love yourself first and protect your mental health in order to be a good spouse!
Practice self awareness.
We all have things we can work on. And in a close relationship, it’s impossible to hide those things. Plus, if you’re truly being honest in your relationship, it’s okay to acknowledge things about yourself that maybe aren’t ideal. That’s why it’s so important to recognize your strengths and weaknesses with your partner honestly and openly. Know in which areas of the relationship you can step up and use your strong points. But also know where you might be lacking and what you need to do to improve your behavior. It’s all about self-assessment to be a good spouse or partner! Get more honest relationship advice on THIS episode of We Met At Acme.
Have an open and honest conversation with them.
Poor communication has been the downfall of several otherwise perfectly good relationships. Sometimes, no matter how much you love each other, it’s easy to feel like you and your partner just aren’t on the same page anymore. Lack of good communication skills can rapidly turn things into a toxic relationship as well, affecting your mental health. So please, speak with your partner if you feel like something’s wrong! Be honest and open about what’s troubling you and the relationship. Don’t be afraid of a little confrontation as long as it remains respectful. If you don’t communicate, you’ll never get your desired outcome or experience personal growth.
Understand their love language and act on it.
You might have heard about Dr. Chapman’s love language psychology studies. According to this research, there are 5 main love languages that we use to indirectly communicate in committed relationships. These are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Each one of them is different, and you and your partner’s languages likely won’t match. But that’s okay! Just make sure to understand what your partner needs the most in a relationship. That’s the whole point of love languages, it helps you act with assertiveness on what will make your partner feel loved. If you want to know more, you can take the official quiz to figure out you and your partner’s love language HERE.
Spend quality time together.
Spending quality time with your partner is an absolute must if you want to keep the spark going strong! Those special moments between the two of you can really spice up the relationship and take you right back to that famous honeymoon stage. It doesn’t matter if it’s an improvised date night, a weekend getaway, or a movie night at home. What’s important is that your partner sees that you enjoy spending time with them, you keep building your bond, and HAVE FUN together! Tune in to THIS episode of What She Said to learn more about spicing up your relationship and keeping that love flame alive. Or, listen to one of these podcasts for couples!
Learn how to apologize for your mistakes and forgive your partner as well.
Apologizing is huge when it comes to avoiding long-term grudges in a romantic relationship. The last thing you want is to act like a narcissist, incapable of recognizing your faults! So you should learn how to say sorry when you’re in the wrong. Self-assess and notice what you could’ve done differently to avoid repeating your mistake in the future. Yet like we’ve said, it takes two to tango. So you may also need to learn how to forgive your partner. We know it’s easy to get stuck on their mistake instead of thinking about the future of the relationship beyond that wrongdoing. So we wrote an article on this topic! You also need to learn how to forgive someone who hurt you.
Support their goals and dreams.
We all want to feel supported. Especially when it comes to our hopes for the future! If your partner has a specific goal that they want to accomplish, you should be their number one fan! Support their ideas, try to take a more active role on their passion projects, and show that you believe they’ll succeed with your postitive emotions. You can even send them information and resources to help support them in their goals. Send them books, articles, and podcasts about their field of interest. Just be thoughtful in the way that you support their dreams.
Make your partner feel loved daily.
Studies show there’s a connection between feeling loved and improved wellbeing. Giving and receiving love is a sure way strengthen your bond. So you should make your partner feel loved every day not only for the sake of your intimate relationship but for their wellbeing as well! Try to show physical affection like holding hands or kissing, or just straight-up tell them how much you love them. And make sure they make you feel loved as well!
Put in some effort with your spouse’s friends.
Not everyone likes their significant other’s friends. We know sometimes you just can’t help but avoid meeting them! However unless your partner’s friends are rude to you or did something disrespectful, you should put in the effort. This means not escaping those group hangouts and supporting your partner if they’re meeting with them. You don’t have to be BFFS with your partner’s friends, just get along and show your spouse some support! THIS episode of Lipstick on the Rim does a great job of explaining the 5 non-negotiables of modern dating. Tune in for more advice!
Notice them and check in with them often.
Surely, you crave feeling seen. You need to feel understood, supported, to know there’s somebody out there that simply gets you. Well, your partner has the same need! So to be a great partner you need to notice them. Let your partner know you’re always there and check in with them on a daily basis. Ask how they feel and what they need from you. This is the most straight-forward way to make them feel seen!
What are your strategies to be a better partner/spouse every day?
Now you know how to be a good partner! Follow these tips and you’ll maintain a healthy relationship with your significant other. It’s important that both of you feel loved and appreciated every single day, as well as being open and honest to communicate with each other. This is 100% possible if you put in the effort! Finally, for an even more in depth dive into relationships, head over to THIS episode of Social Studies where Jena gets real on everything related to dating, sex life, and relationships. Good luck with your partner!