16 Ways Social Media Affects Our Relationships

For centuries, courtship and relationships were basically the same. You’d meet someone somewhere, coordinate meeting times, and connect slowly over time through hang-outs, phone calls, and letters. But let’s face it, those days are pretty much over. But it’s not all bad news. Yes, social media has changed the landscape of all relationships—in both positive and negative ways. 

Today, we’re breaking down social media and relationships because navigating these two at the same time can be totally tricky. We’ll discuss both the pros and cons of having the world wide web and a deeply interconnected planet, plus what that means when it comes to relationships. Here are 16 affects of social media on relationships:

Positive Affects of Social Media on Relationships

Connects people from all over. 

One of the beauties of social media is how it can connect you to people from all over the world. For the first time in history, you can literally never set foot in a country but meet someone from there and grow a deep friendship. We’ve even seen plenty of people find romantic partners online before they’ve met them in person. 

Whether they’re a few blocks away or across the ocean, you can connect in the same way online. This is especially true with the prevalence of dating apps. Not only do these apps connect people, but they connect you with partners that fit your criteria and are interested in you. It’s a super streamlined process that makes it easier for anyone to find a friend or soulmate. 

Hear what the queen of Catfish Kamie Crawford herself thinks about online dating apps in this episode of the Relationsh*t podcast. Alyssa Dineen, author of The Art of Online Dating, joins her for this banger episode! 

Helps people stay connected when apart. 

Long distance relationships are hard no matter what. Whether it’s a family member, romantic partner, or dear friend, living apart can make you drift apart. This causes a ton of heartache and loneliness. Luckily, social media allows people to stay close even when far away. 

Lindsey Metselaar of We Met at Acme discusses this in her mid-COVID lockdown episode and explores the power of social media when away from those you love. You can listen to it here. 

Allows people to capture and save memories. 

If you’re a millennial, your parents might have a single photo album that encompasses the totality of your childhood. And videos? If your family had a tape recorder, you may have a handful of VHS tapes that documented big events in your life from infancy to your teen years.

Now? Social media holds thousands and thousands of photos and videos of us from the past decade or more. Not only can Gen-Z see their whole life moment by moment, but we can look back on old times like we never could before. You can reminisce with family, friends, and partners by looking back at old pictures and conversations that remind you why you love these people so much! A definite win for social media in our book. 

Updates us about old friends and distant family.

Sometimes you have friends or family that are at a distance, and you’d like to keep them that way. They live far away, but you’re not close enough to warrant a flight or drive out to their new residence. 

Social media allows you to get regular updates on these people to keep the door open for your casual friendship. When you have them on social media, you can still celebrate their triumphs and mourn their losses, but from that much-needed distance. No matter how far away your Kardashians are, you can keep up with them. 

Allows us to set healthy boundaries.

As mentioned, sometimes you don’t want to be best friends, but you still want to keep up. If you have overbearing friends or family that want to intrude too much on your life, social media creates the perfect amount of distance. 

They can stay in touch with what’s happening in your life without having to call or text you. In fact, with the introduction of direct messaging (DM) on most (if not all) social platforms, they don’t need to have your number at all. Social media allows you to create healthy boundaries with those you want in and those you want out. 

Encourages frequent and personalized communication.

With social media, you can interact and communicate any way you like. When you can get in contact with someone in real time 24/7, it’s easy to stay in touch. So, friends and romantic partners alike can keep in touch in a variety of ways. Whether they like to do video calls, voice memos, or simple messaging, social media has a way! 

Allows us to meet like-minded people when we feel isolated. 

In 2020, we all learned what it was like to feel isolated. But, many of us feel isolated even outside of the effects of a global pandemic. Whether you’re going through something difficult or you have a unique set of interests, you can find your people on social media. Not only will you feel more connected, but you could make life-long bonds with people that’ll support and love you!

Teaches us about different people’s interests and viewpoints.

When you’ve just met someone, you can learn a lot about them from their social media pages. This can help you develop a deeper connection or confirm the two of you aren’t a good match. 

Additionally, all the different cultures, interests, and viewpoints on social media expand your mind and show you the beauty in our differences. This can make you more tolerant and accepting of anyone you meet! It’s a beautiful thing. 

Negative Affects of Social Media on Relationships 

Spurs jealousy and comparison culture. 

Comparison culture on social media is no joke. So many people online use the platform only to promote the good parts of their lives, which can make us discontent with our own lives. Also, social media allows you to see other people interacting. If you’re left out, it can make you feel resentful and isolated. 

The jealousy that comes from social media negatively impacts our mental health and relationships in SO many ways. With great friends, romantic partners, and family relationships, we can still hold envy. This can destroy your bonds with those you love over something as frivolous as an Instagram comment. 

This is such a big problem with social media that so many of our podcasters have spoken on the topic. If you’re struggling with playing the comparison game, listen to one of these episodes: 

• “Digitally Detoxed” with Divorced, Not Dead
• “The Illusion of Social Media” with Going Mental
• “Loving Your Real Self, Mental Health on Social Media” with Mood
• “Pressure and Comparison on Social Media” with Mood
• “Body Image and Toxic Comparison on Social Media” With Whit
• “Understanding Eating Disorders, Vulnerability, and Social Media Comparison” with The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast
• “Body Dysmorphia, Self Esteem, Healthy Social Media Use, and Loving Your Real Life” with The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast

Makes it easier to be unfaithful.

Social media makes it SO easy to cheat—and easy to hide it too. If someone is looking, they can find it on social media. There are lots of temptations and lots of people fishing for companionship. If your relationship is already rocky, social media platforms can create the perfect pathway to infidelity and heartache. 

Sets high standards. 

Social media provides an idealized view of everything. This is especially true with relationships! You’re constantly fed messaging on how you deserve better and how your partner or friend should treat you like the perfect princess (or handsome prince) you are. 

Of course, it’s good to know your worth, but sky high expectations will kill your relationships, says Iskra and Phillip of Coupleish. In this episode of their podcast, they break down how impossible standards will be the downfall of your marriage. The high expectations communicated on social media affect relationships of all kinds, though. So, be aware of this negative impact across all your relationships! 

Spurs over-sharing. 

Social media is the perfect place to brag and b*tch. Well, at least some people think of it that way. They change their relationship status every time they get in a fight with their partner. They post about every sale they make at work. And, they post albums of pictures every week with inspirational quotes inspired by their recent achievements. 

Really, they just won’t SHUT UP. Oversharing on Facebook is a good way to turn people off and turn them against you. Especially people you are in a relationship with. Not to mention, you just might overshare something personal that affects the way someone views you or treats you later, like in a job interview. Although it might be tempting, don’t use social media to spill all the tea about everything in your life. (No offense, but it’s embarrassing!) 

Makes it easy for fake people to fool you. 

On social media, there are no rules that say you have to show your real life. In fact, you can be anyone you want to be on social media. SO many people have been conned into fake romantic relationships or friendships to gain money or notoriety. 

It’s so sad! Before social media, this kind of fraud wasn’t possible. Now? It’s rampant! A lot of people avoid dating apps for this reason. Outside of literal catfishing (which you can hear about on Relationsh*t with Kamie Crawford and none-other than Nev Schulman), social media allows for ANYONE to fool you. 

Even influencers, friends, and family could use their platforms to trick you. It might be to fool you, or it might be to fool themselves. Either way, it’s damaging to relationships. On Girls Night, host Alexis Waters discusses this issue and frames it as “The Myth of Social Media.”

Discourages real quality time. 

When you don’t need to be face to face to connect, it’s easy not to prioritize meeting up and having real quality time. Even though social media provides a great means of connection for those who can’t see each other frequently, it doesn’t mean spending time together in person isn’t necessary.

We still need in-person memories and moments with everyone in our lives. If we don’t, the relationship becomes hollow and distant, even if you are always chatting on Snap. We Met at Acme discusses this very issue in this episode called “Meeting IRL vs Apps.” Some have even gone so far as to take a social media cleanse to make their interactions with their loved ones more meaningful! 

Encourages the constant need for validation. 

When we post on social media – something funny, romantic, insightful, or exciting – what do we do? We wait for the reactions and comments to flood in, validating that we’re hilarious, smart, or a total catch. However, we shouldn’t need this validation. Not getting likes on a post shouldn’t tank our day or tank our relationships. 

However, when we start thinking, “Why didn’t my boyfriend like my profile picture change?” or “Why didn’t my friend tell me congratulations on my promotion?” we’re setting all of our relationships up to fail. Don’t let social media rule who you are. Learn more about this with Kenzie Elizabeth on ILYSM. 

Opens the door to cyberbullies. 

Social media puts a barrier between you and the other person. This makes it easier to hide behind the distance and say things you’d NEVER say in-person. Online bullies can be some of the cruelest types of bullies—and they’re ALL OVER. 

Because of the horrible things people say on social media, you can easily lose yourself to insecurity and shame. When this happens, you lose trust in those around you and feel unworthy of their love. Don’t let this happen to you or the young people around you. 

If any of this resonates with you, take an audit of how social media is affecting your relationships. Then, regroup and embark on a healthier relationship between you and your social networks. Social media affects relationships in big ways—for better or for worse.