What Secrets Do You Hide From Your Partner?

We all have secrets. Some are harmless—like buying fancy oat milk and decanting it into the cheaper brand’s carton—while others could shake the very foundation of your relationship. The latest episode of Girls Gotta Eat dove deep into this topic.

What Secrets Do You Hide From Your Partner?

The “Botox and Blowjobs” Category of Secrets

Rayna Greenberg and Ashley Hesseltine didn’t hold back from discussing what people hide from their partners. Botox? A classic. As one host noted, “I’d never tell my partner, he would kill me if I did that.” This reveals something deeper: Why are we lying about something as harmless (and, let’s be honest, as common) as a little needle to the forehead? It’s not just about wrinkle-smoothing—it’s about control, shame, and internalized double standards. If your partner thinks Botox means you’ll look like Jocelyn Wildenstein, maybe it’s time for a little education session rather than subterfuge.

As Ashley quipped, “Men hear ‘Botox’ and think ‘filler,’ like I’m gonna walk in looking like a Bratz doll.” Meanwhile, maybe you’ve had it for years, especially if you suffer from migraines, and he’s none the wiser.)

Money Talks—Or Does It?

Another big secret people keep? Money. And it ranges from the mundane (“I totally bought that on sale” when it was full price to the potentially marriage-ending (hiding debt). The podcast touched on this, with one listener confessing, “I’ve been hiding how much I’ve been spending on coffee every week.” If your latte habit is the hill your relationship dies on, that’s not love—that’s financial micromanagement.

But financial infidelity is real. When it escalates to secret credit cards and maxed-out accounts, you’re not just hiding purchases—you’re eroding trust. As Rayna put it, “There’s a difference between ‘I got Starbucks three times this week’ and ‘I’m $20,000 in debt and you don’t know it.’”

Sex, Lies, and Incognito Mode

Let’s talk about porn, masturbation, and those little fibs we tell to avoid awkward conversations. The pod revealed that plenty of people—yes, even in happy relationships—hide their solo habits. One woman admitted, “I’ve been faking orgasms for years, and I’m too deep in to confess now.”

Honey, no. This is not a Grey’s Anatomy episode—you can’t flatline your sexual happiness for the sake of someone else’s ego. As Ashley wisely noted, “If you’re pretending, you’re just robbing yourself. Your partner doesn’t get better, and you’re stuck in orgasm purgatory.”

Where’s the Line?

What’s acceptable to keep private? Here’s the breakdown straight from the Girls Gotta Eat wisdom vault:

Okay to Keep Private:

• Minor beauty treatments (Botox, laser hair removal, the occasional spray tan).
• Solo self-care habits (unless they affect your shared finances or health).
• Small purchases that don’t impact joint savings.

Not Okay to Hide:

• Major health issues. (Yes, mental health counts.)
• Financial decisions that affect both of you.
• Any behavior that, if discovered, would make your partner feel betrayed.

As Ashley summed up perfectly: “If you’re hiding it because you think they’ll judge you, that’s a relationship issue. If you’re hiding it because you know it’s wrong, that’s a you issue.”

How to Come Clean About Your Secrets—Without Burning It All Down

• Start small: If you’ve been hiding something—be it a Botox habit or a side savings account—ease into the conversation. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to tell you something…” is a great opening line.
• Own it: No defensive backpedaling. If you’re confessing, stand by your choices. “I got Botox because it makes me feel good. I’m not asking for permission—I’m just being honest.”
• Invite dialogue: If your partner reacts badly, ask why. Sometimes, their issue isn’t the Botox—it’s feeling out of the loop.
• Rebuild trust: If your secret was more serious—like hiding debt—be transparent about your plan to fix it.

Look, relationships aren’t built on brutal honesty 100% of the time. Do you really need to tell your partner every time you’re annoyed by how they load the dishwasher? No. (Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? Loading the dishwasher differently isn’t going to matter in five years. I promise.) But if you’re consistently hiding things out of fear, shame, or guilt, it’s worth examining why.

As Girls Gotta Eat reminded us, the healthiest relationships aren’t built on perfection—they’re built on trust, laughter, and the occasional secrets about how much those shoes really cost. (But seriously, maybe tell him about the Botox. He’ll survive.)