If Waiting For Someone To Ask You Out Feels Unnatural, You Might Be Misaligned With Your Human Design

Ever wondered why what works for someone else doesn’t quite work for you? Maybe you know someone who wakes up at 4 a.m., hits the gym, and checks off their to-do list before the sun even rises. Or perhaps you’re the one who needs a little more rest to feel your best throughout the day. Maybe some people thrive on social interaction, while others find they recharge best in solitude.

It’s okay if none of these are you— everyone is wired differently. That’s where Human Design comes into play. This holistic system of personality types combines ancient wisdom and science to understand individual energies.

“So often we try to emulate what works for others because it has worked for them. But we are confused why it doesn’t work for us. We are all just different,” says Erin Claire Jones, author and leading expert in Human Design, in a recent episode of Girls Gotta Eat.

It’s time to lean into who you are. You are allowed to live as your authentic self, not how family, friends, or society tells you to.

What is Human Design?

Human design is a system based on a person’s time, date, and place of birth that determines how you are wired to operate in every area of life. How you work best, make decisions, how you’re meant to structure your days, and how you find love.

There are five personalities in human design: generators, manifesting generators, projectors, manifestors, and reflectors. Let’s break them down:

Generators are the doers—the people who have large capacities to perform. Think Beyonce and Lebron James. They’re the type of people whose excitement can light up any room, but on the other hand, they can also sink a room when their energy is sluggish. Jones explains that their highs are high, and their lows are low.

Manifesting Generators are multi-passionate individuals. Think of the quintessential L.A. personality. You know, the type of person who is an actor, gym trainer, and content creator…all in one day.

Projectors are leaders, guides, and advisors. They are not here to do the “doing,” but are instead, the people who ask the right questions and coach others. Therapists, career coaches, and teachers often fall into this category.

Manifestors are innovative and disruptive. They don’t need anyone telling them what to do, and they are here to do things their own way. They might go from feeling super inspired to needing freedom and rest. Think: visionaries and kick starters who are very autonomous.

Reflectors, the rarest type, are extremely sensitive to their environment. They are fluid people who will show up to different spaces and seasons of their lives differently. Their energy changes day to day.

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Developing a strategy that works for you

Depending on your energy type, there is a certain way for you to operate to make things happen effortlessly. Generators and manifesting generators are very gut-led, meaning that they just let things happen and show up. They let things come to them and wait to respond.

Projectors, on the other hand, are meant to be invited into things. “When I think about all the opportunities in my life, it’s not about seeing how I respond to my environment, but someone seeing my gifts very clearly and inviting me in to share them,” Jones shares.

Manifestors are here to initiate, and they don’t need external cues from their environment. “They are taking a shower or on a walk, and suddenly, they have a vision that they must bring to life,” Jones adds.

And for reflectors, the best strategy is to plant them in spaces that feel good for them. Being in the right spaces is what opens doors.

Navigating friendships, dating, and choosing romantic partners

Human design even applies to dating. Romance is largely defined by your energy. So for example, if you’re a manifestor, the power to choose is in your tool belt. Waiting for someone to ask you out as a manifestor will most likely feel unnatural and leave you feeling disempowered.

Sorry societal norms, but women don’t have to nor should they always wait for the other person to initiate in romance. It’s all about doing things that feel natural to you. When it comes to dating, Jones says, “it’s really empowering to think ‘What works most naturally for me?” For manifestors, especially women, they have been hesitant to initiate, but they’re most meaningful relationships are when they initiate.”

If you are curious about your energy type and learning how to live as your most authentic self, tune into Girls Gotta Eat for more about Human Design.