Dating is HARD, there’s no sugarcoating it. Between yellow flags, dogfishing, attachment styles, and situationships, things get a little exhausting. But that doesn’t mean you should swear off dating and stop putting yourself out there! Making the first move is the ultimate power move, let’s be real.
But it can also be intimidating, right? As much as we’d love to know the ins and outs of dating from a man’s perspective, it’s impossible to know what they’re thinking. This can make seemingly simple things, like asking for a guy’s number, awkward and nerve-wracking. But know this: there’s nothing wrong with getting out of your comfort zone and expressing your interest!
You don’t have to embark on this journey alone, though. We’re sharing practical tips and creative strategies on making the first move to make it easier to ask for a guy’s phone number. Ready to get numbers and steal hearts? Let’s dive in!
Maybe you’re a little nervous to just come out of the gate and ask a guy for his number. And honestly, we get it! If you’re looking for ways to casually lead up to the big moment, plant the seeds first. Flirt, laugh, joke, touch his arm—it’s alllll about setting the tone.
That way, when you do ask, you won’t have the fear of completely blindsiding him and having to face rejection. (Which, BTW, is also totally fine.) This process just feels more like a natural step. You can even throw in a cute line like, “You’re so easy to talk to—I just know you’re that person who would pick up the phone at 3am for me.”
Nothing makes asking for a guys number easier than good vibes. Funny stories and intimate conversations are the PERFECT lead up for popping the question. For example, maybe the guy you’re hanging out with told you a crazy story. Your response can be… “Well, you can’t just tell me that story and not expect to text with more questions.”
Or, if he dropped a personal-but-funny secret, hit him with the “Well I need your number so I can make fun of you whenever I remember this moment.” It’s easy to sneak into conversation and doesn’t feel super forced.
Nothing brings people together quite like common interests. If you have nothing in common, then what’s there to talk about??? When the night is ending and it’s time to wrap things up, latch onto an interest you both share and use it to your advantage.
All it takes is a little “Next time you go to that record store, make sure to text me so I can come, too!” And boom, not only did you just get a number, but you also got yourself a fun little date. It’s a two-in-one combo that works like a charm.
For more on shared interests, check out this episode of Girls Gotta Eat.
This one’s kinda similar to using shared interests to grab a number, but it takes a different approach. Bonding is a huge way to get past small talk and form real connections. Whether it’s something simple like a favorite food, or something deeper like a connection to a song, talking about a similar passion just has a way of bringing people together.
And in your case, giving you a sneaky way to ask for a guys number. To be honest, you’re not even directly asking for his number—you have a reason for why you need it. Say something like, “Oh wait, you have to send me that playlist we were talking about! What’s your number?” It’s as easy as that.
You know what works like a charm? Reverse psychology… annddd maybe a little hot and heavy flirting. Sometimes guys don’t even want you to ask for their number, they want you to give them a reason for them to ask for yours. You may be thinking, “Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose?” And, in this case, no!
A little one-liner works like a charm—something like “Not to be that person, but you’re totally missing the opportunity to ask me for my number right now.” You make him think that he made the move, when reality, you still hold all the power. It’s flirty, it’s fun, and it’s a lot less stressful.
Regardless of whether it’s someone you’re talking to for the first time or someone you’ve hung out with before, one thing is true: you’re only asking for his number! It’s easy to get so nervous that you turn it into a huge deal, but try to keep it cool. A simple “I’d love to have your number so we can talk more” would be a great way to casually invite a guy to give you his number.
With all this talk about phone numbers, we’d be remiss to not at least mention some of the vibey phone cases in the Dear Media Shop. The “It’s All Happening” case is cute and fits the occasion perfectly.
If you’re feeling especially anxious about exchanging numbers with a guy, you can make up an excuse for why you might need it. The key to this tactic is making your excuse somewhat reasonable.
Some fun ideas for pulling this off include telling him you want to send him a link to something you were talking about or notes for a class you’re taking together. You can also ask for his social media first and then tell him that you prefer texting and see if he offers to give you his phone number first. It’s a super natural, non-invasive approach to keep the conversations flowing.
If your sense of humor is your strong suit, go ahead and get creative when asking a guy for his number! There are a ton of corny ways to ask for his digits in a way that will make him laugh. Check his body language to make sure he’s into it and then just go for it!
Here are some cheesy, funny lines you can use to ask for a guy’s number:
Also, all you funny babes need some gear to highlight your fantastic sense of humor. Maybe something like this Funny For A Girl crewneck sweatshirt.
Confidence is key! You’d be surprised by what you can attract with a healthy dose of confidence. And it’s not just in how you speak; confidence also shines through in your body language. Stand tall yet relaxed, look him in the eyes, smile, etc.
If you feel uneasy, focus on the positive and be optimistic. Even if you have to fake it a little bit, exude confidence when you ask for his number and he’ll be more likely to want to continue the conversation via text. Consider it from his shoes, too. If someone approaches you looking nervous and unprepared, chances are you may not be feeling it. But if someone comes up to you and knows what they want? Instant butterflies.
For more on discovering confidence and unleashing who you are, listen to this episode of Him & Her Show.
This is the 21st century! There are no “rules” when it comes to getting or receiving a guy’s number. If you want it, just go for it!
You know the old saying “There are plenty of fish in the sea” right? It’s true. If he turns you down, he’s not the guy for you. Don’t take it personally, it’s his loss! Props to you for putting yourself out there. Try again with the next guy you connect with and before you know it, you’ll land a great catch.
When you know your self-worth, nothing and no one can bring you down. For more, check out this episode of Life with Marianna: “Build Your Self-Worth, Redefine Rejection, and Overcome Imposter Syndrome with Jamie Kern Lima.”
After reading these tips, you’ll get a guys number in no time. You got this! Sure, it’s nerve-wracking the first couple of times you ask a guy for his number. But as you become more confident and self-assured, that power speaks for itself. Be yourself, have some fun, and pat yourself on the back for taking a risk.
For more flirting tips, dating advice, and so much more, head over to the Dear Media blog. We’ve got you covered on any and every topic. And don’t forget to check out the DM shop for tons of new products! This “Coming in Hot” varsity crewneck is calling your name—especially because that’s exactly what you’re doing by asking a guy for his number.