how to turn a situationship into a relationship

If you’ve ever been in a situationship, you know it can be anything from a fun, no-strings-attached good time to a CRAZY messy affair. When you’ve got something good going, there are definitely benefits to situationships but we’d be lying if we said it never gets complicated. 

Because, to tell y’all the truth, situationships are complicated more often than not. In situationships, unclear commitments, expectations, and boundaries often characterize the experience, making your sex and dating life confusing at best and painful at worst.

If you want to get out of the friends-with-benefits zone and actually have a relationship, it can be tricky to figure out how. So today, we’re dedicating this post to talk about how to turn a situationship into a serious relationship. Let’s get into it!

How To Turn A Situationship Into A Relationship

How To Turn A Situationship Into A Relationship

Feel out the vibes.

First, you’re going to figure out if this switch is even a possibility. Ask yourself: Do they seem to linger after you’ve hooked up? Do you have non-sexual chemistry? Do you ever spend time together outside of having sex? If your partner seems like they just want to hit and quit it, then turning this situationship into a relationship probably isn’t going to be doable. But if they enjoy your company outside of what you can offer them physically, it may be worth a try!

Talk to them about your feelings.

Before you can do anything to turn this situationship into a relationship, you’re going to have to make sure you and your FWB are on the same page. Because if you want something more and they’re not into it, there’s no point in wasting your time with them anymore. Seriously, babes, chasing a guy who’s not into you is NOT the move. 

So be honest! Make the first move by telling them you’re interested in taking your relationship (or lack thereof) to the next level, and see if they’re down to do the same. The worst thing they can say is “no!”

And if they do say no don’t worry, we’ve got a plan for that. Check out the episode Situationships 101: Dating The Emotionally Unavailable + How To Move On from Pretty Basic, then read this article on healthy ways to cope with a break up. Maybe it’s not a “true” break up, but it can definitely feel like one! Those coping mechanisms can get you back to feeling 100 in no time.  

Swap out hookups for date night. 

If you’re in a situationship, chances are high that you’re used to only meeting up discreetly in a private place. We’re done with that, boo! It’s time to take this thing out into the world. Take a slip out of your date night jar (or just an idea from the article) and get out on the town! If you’re feeling nervous before the date, House Guest with Kenzie Elizabeth has a great ep on dating anxiety, friends with benefits, and first date etiquette that can totally help you out!

Want more advice after the date? Here’s 17 Signs A First Date Went Well.

How To Turn A Situationship Into A Relationship

Spend time together without having sex.

Date night can be a fun, non-sexual time, but who are we kidding? With the chemistry you and your beau already built up during your situationship, it’s gonna be hard to keep your hands off each other. But, building up the romantic/platonic sides of your relationship are going to be crucial if this transition is going to work out. So, set aside some time to just talk and get to know each other on a deeper level. You can use this list of vulnerable questions to ask your partner to kick start the convo!

Integrate them into your life.

Any time you start dating someone, one of the most important vibe checks you’ll do is to introduce them to your family and friends. Because if your ride or dies don’t like your partner, what’s the point, right? On the other hand, if your friends and fam LOVE your new boo, then your situationship is ready to make that jump to a relationship!

Relationship advice

Your situationship doesn’t have to stay a situationship.

If you’re feeling the butterflies with your f*ck buddy, it might be time to start thinking about making these moves! Like we said, the worst that can happen is that it ends, which leaves you free to be your bad*ss without someone who doesn’t deserve you dragging you down. And the BEST case scenario: it works out, and you get a happily ever after! So what are you waiting for? Go get them, babe!

As always, you can find us on the blog for more relationship tips, podcast recs, and general life advice. See you there!