How Long After Divorce Do Men Start Dating? A Guide For Getting Back Out There

The thing about divorce is that it’s never easy. Whether it was you or your ex who asked to end your marriage, it can be overwhelming and straight-up traumatic.

What’s hopefully less overwhelming and traumatic is the thought of going on that first date after your divorce. But, hey, the first first date can be pretty nerve-wracking, too. We totally get it!

Getting back into dating after years or even decades of being in a long-term relationship can bring up all sorts of feelings. It’s often awkward, unfamiliar, and scary when the dating game has changed so much.

Don’t sweat it, men! We’re here to help you out. Today’s post is all about when and how to start dating after divorce as a man.

How Long After Divorce Do Men Start Dating?

Before you’re ready to date again, you’ve got to look honestly at yourself and ask if you’re truly over your previous relationship. There’s no harm in waiting a long time to date after divorce! However, there’s also nothing wrong with getting back out there pretty quickly as long as you’re ready.

That being said, your ex may be offended by you dating again too soon. So, it may be a good idea to discuss with your ex what a respectable amount of time might be to start again . . . but it all depends on the details of your relationship and how it ended. Because though it may avoid some conflict to discuss this new beginning with your ex, your life is no longer her business!

Here are some questions to consider before you jump back in:

Am I looking to date to fill a void?
Does meeting someone new sound exciting?
Have I healed emotionally from my divorce?
Have I learned from the negative and positive effects of divorce?
Am I ready to trust again?
Am I still looking for my ex in every aspect of my life?

Knowing the answer to these questions may help you determine if you’re ready to start dating. There’s no set time for when it’s appropriate to start dating again. However, it’s not a good call if you are going to do damage to yourself or your dates as a result of unhealed trauma.

How To Start Dating After Divorce For Men

Process the divorce.

The truth is, you’re not going to get anywhere with dating if you haven’t healed your heartbreak. And, we’re not saying you have to be 100% over it, because let’s be real you envisioned an entire future with that person. Now, that future’s gone, and it’s bound to leave some scars.

Mel Robbins went on The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast and taught us how to get over the end of a relationship. Check it out, because it’s seriously some of the best advice we’ve ever gotten.

So, check in with how you’re feeling emotionally. Do you feel like everyone in the dating scene is out to get you? That’s a sign you may need to recover emotionally before diving into the deep end of dating. Waiting to date until you feel ready is a huge sign of maturity. Plus, once you are ready, that level of self-reflection is a magnet for the ladies!

On the other hand, if you’ve already learned how to get over your divorce, you might be ready to jump back in. It’s really up to you and how much processing time you need. Everyone is different, so we’ll all rejoin the dating pool at different times in the healing process.

Be authentic.

Once you’re ready to start dating again, you’ll want to find a way to be comfortable opening up about your past. You want to be true to who you are, without ranting about your marriage and past dating experience. And, on that now, if you’re feeling inclined to rant about your ex on a date, you may want to go back to step one.

Be honest and open about your previous relationships when asked. You’d be surprised how many people are dealing with divorce, so it likely won’t even be a big deal. Who knows? It may even be a great point of connection between the two of you!

how to start dating after divorce for men

Try online dating.

Online dating is one of the best ways to meet new people after divorce. It’s super easy and much faster and more reliable than finding people out in the wild. Plus, you know everyone on there is actually looking for a relationship!

If online dating is intimidating for you, don’t worry! We’ve got resources to make it easier:

Meet people in person.

Meeting people in person can be difficult and may take some rejection tolerance. But, there are a lot of ways to make it easier to find people with similar interests. You’ve just gotta get out of your comfort zone!

You can:

Try group events.
Join clubs.
Volunteer.
Attend community events.
Hang out in coffee shops.

Choose things that interest you. Before you know it, you may have a new relationship brewing!

Have friends and family set you up.

If you’re looking to find love, getting set up by people who know and love you is like, the best move you could make.

Obviously, don’t be messy about it. Be strategic about which friends you ask to set you up. We don’t need to be in any sort of drama with the ex. You don’t need that toxic energy in your life!

Anyway, your loved ones may know someone who could be the perfect partner for you. Reach out to them to see if they would be willing to set you up on a date.

Bonus: if you’re nervous, you can ask to do a double date or group event! This is a lower pressure way to meet someone.

What Are The Best Dating Sites For Men?

Hinge

The popularity of each dating site depends on your location, but Hinge is one of our favorites. The focus of Hinge is mainly to make a long-lasting connection. So, if you’re looking for a relationship, hinge is a great option!

Bumble

Bumble is an interesting dating app for men because men cannot message first in a male/female connection. This has both advantages and disadvantages.

On one hand, the pressure is off of you to message first. It can also make women feel safer. On the other hand, you may not be able to message someone you’re really interested in.

Tinder

Tinder is often known for being a hook-up dating app. Of course, you can make longer-lasting connections on this app. However, the style of the app leans more toward casual dating.

OkCupid

If you’re looking to prioritize compatibility, OkCupid has a long-standing reputation for long-term relationships. It involves a lengthy questionnaire when joining. This lengthy questionnaire may feel like overkill, but it is how OkCupid makes such solid matches.

Coffee Meets Bagel

This app is a great option for people who don’t like this swipe style of dating apps. They have a selective approach that can help introverts feel more confident on the dating app.

Swiping is still involved. But, instead of being able to swipe on every eligible profile in your area, the app sends you a curated list of hotties for you to browse every day. It refreshes every 24 hours to keep things moving without giving you crazy decision-fatigue!

The League

The league is an exclusive dating app for those of you who are more business savvy and want a no-BS process. If you’re looking for an ambitious partner, this just might be the dating app for you. There is a strict vetting process to be able to use the app.

It requires its users to be well-educated, career-driven, and aligned with the app’s elite community. If that’s you, The League is a great place to find people on your level.

Dating after divorce can be hard, but it gets easier the more you try!

If you’re feeling nervous about rejoining the dating pool after divorce, we’re with you. It’s a nerve-racking feeling! But, we hope this article helped ease some of your worries.

Let us know how long you think men should wait after divorce to start dating in the comments below!