When you’re young, finding and keeping friends is super easy, but by the time you’re in your late 20s and early 30s . . . those ride or die friendships are hard to find. And, we girls need to stick together, not only to make life less lonely, but also to finally have the support and love you need to be and feel your best.
It’s only natural to start craving more authentic friendships when we reach this point in our lives. We know what you’re about to say: Making new female friends, especially as adults, can be super difficult and intimidating but it doesn’t have to be so hard! And to be honest, meeting new people gets easier with practice, especially when they’re like-minded girlies who always have your back.
Don’t get us wrong, putting yourself out there is scary at first. Take a cue from this episode of Twenty Whatever called Making & Maintaining Adult Friendships (it’s hard af). Because let’s be real, we all worry about what others might think of us, which is totally human. But, we all just want to feel connected, you know? Whether you’re new to a city or you just need a new tribe finding someone to laugh, play, cry, hang out, and share memories with is so worth it if you’re willing to put in the work. So, we’ve come to save the day by sharing some tips and tricks for effortlessly forming amazing connections with other fabulous women like yourself.
Let the BFF matchmaking begin!
How To Make Female Friends and Find Your Next Ride or Die
Saying Yes to Invitations
One surefire way to make new female friends easily is to say YES to invitations. This is most important if you’re trying to figure out how to make friends in your 20s. You’re young, free, and have a lot of energy. So, why not accept those invitations to brunch, book clubs, parties, networking events, etc? And, for those of you past 20? Still get your butts out there and stay busy. You never know which “YES” would lead you to your new ride-or-die bestie.
Attending Events
It’s not enough to just say yes to the invitation. You should actually seek out events to attend! No matter where you live, there are events that will gladly take your admittance. These can be some of the best places to find like-minded people if you go somewhere that’s celebrating or showcasing something you really love.
Festivals, meetups, conferences, workshops, concerts, ragers, etc., are practical opportunities to expand your girl gang. If you’re unsure where to start, our Dear Media IRL event on May 4th is going to be FULL of positive feminine energy and plenty of women ready to be your bestie.
Actually Talking to Your Coworkers
Even if your vibe is to show up, do your work, and go home, we’re going to challenge you to step outside of your comfort zone. These are people you see EVERY DAY so they’ll be by far the easiest and most rewarding people to get close too. So, go sit with someone on break, come a little early to chat at their desk, shoot them a text, invite them to drinks whatever! Just start getting to know your coworkers.
Joining Social Media Groups
If you’re a social media girly, you already know how it can be a powerful tool for connection! We recommend you try to use your fave platforms a little more intentionally by joining groups of like-minded women. These days, there are groups for literally any interest, hobby, identity, or location you can think of. All you have to do is choose a group that vibes with you. So, next time you find yourself scrolling, take a second to check for groups on your favorite hobbies, a specific community, or one of your niche interests and introduce yourself by interacting with others.
Complimenting People
You never know the joy you spread when you compliment people. Giving compliments is not only kind, but a smart way to empower and connect with women everywhere you go! We all love to feel good and feel seen, so let people know when you admire something about them even if it’s just a cute hat like With Whit’s wildflowers baseball cap. notice something you admire about a new face and let them know.
Complimenting a badass tattoo, a gorgeous purse, or a cute outfit is an instant conversation starter. “Girl, that color is totally your vibe!” or “You have such a great smile!” Like magic, you’ve broken the ice, made someone’s day, and created an opportunity to make anew friend. Bonus points if you mean it, of course.
Trying Friendship Apps
Life can get hectic; we all know this. But, that’s absolutely no excuse to let your social skills suffer when friendship apps exist to fuel your friend-making fire. Apps like Bumble BFF, Friended, and Wink are all great for cultivating new friendships and establishing connections before you have to meet in person, which is perfect for all you introverts out there or anyone in their 30s far too busy for spontaneous social scenes.
Starting Conversations With Girl-Friendly Topics
Once you’ve broken the ice with a babe who could be a potential friend, it’s time to work your conversational magic. First rule: Leave awkward random chatter at the door and start with topics any girl would love. Ask her about her favorite Bravo shows or her thoughts on hot girl walks. Dive into her favorite restaurants, discuss dream travel destinations, ask for book recommendations, and gush over the hottest celebrity gossip. Basically, what you like, they probably like too.
Be Friendly
Above all these other tips, you must prioritize being friendly to make genuine female friendships. It’s not enough to attend events, accept invitations, use friendship apps, or start conversations; you must first be friendly. Nobody likes a Debby Downer.
Smile and make eye contact with everyone you engage with, give only sincere compliments, be a good listener, offer small acts of kindness, and be open to meeting new people. When you do these things, you’ll find that making friends will come naturally to you. You won’t have to do so much work because people will naturally be drawn to your friendliness!
8 Podcasts About Female Friendships
Real Pod: How To Cultivate Quality Friendships
Making and staying friends with people can be challenging, especially as we age and experience the realities of adulthood. In this inspiring episode of Real Pod, host Victoria Garrick Browne and special guest Danielle Bayard Jackson, share how you can be a better friend and build friendships that last. This podcast episode is important for anyone who wants to cultivate more intimate and auethetnic relationships with their friends.
Trying Not to Care: For the Girls with No Friends
There’s usually a stigma around people with little to no friends. Either they’re bad people or don’t know how to maintain friendships. However, Trying Not to Care host Ashley Corbo sets out to debunk the stigma around having a small circle and why quality over quantity is really where it’s at. As someone who’s experienced both tight packs and solo periods herself, she gets candid about why less can genuinely mean more.
Balanced Black Girl: How to Strengthen Your Friendships, Make New Friends, and Navigate Friendship Changes
It’s not easy navigating friendships through different periods in our lives. We tend to lose touch with those we care the most about during the hustle and bustle of our day-to-day lives. So, on this episode of Balanced Black Girl, titled How to Strengthen Your Friendships, Make New Friends, and Navigate Friendship Changes, host Les Alfred sits down with female friendship coach and educator Danielle Bayard Jackson to discuss practical tips about how to overcome busy schedules and stay close with your people.
They also break down the connection between strong friendships and long-term health, as well as gracefully navigating friendships through different phases of life. At over an hour long, it’s a total goldmine. But trust us, the time flies cause you’ll be LOLing and learning the whole way through.
Transform: How to Build Your Best Friendships
Who better to learn about friendship than two besties? BFFs Sami Clarke and Sami Splater discuss ALL the ins-and-outs of friendships in this episode. They go deep into both the highs and lows and give you all tips you need to balance your friendships, set boundaries, and cultivate the best friend relationship you’ve been craving!
Twenty Whatever: Breaking Down Green & Red Flags in Friendships
In “Breaking Down Green & Red Flags in Friendships,” hosts Sierra, Riayn, and Paloma give listeners the DL on what makes quality connections and what is considered a MAJOR red flag. From sharing their own friend fails and wins to breaking down viewer-submitted red and green flags, this conversation is so honest, helpful, and funny.
Trying Not to Care: Female Friendships: Why They’re Hard, Friendship Expectations and Growing Apart From Friends
Our girl Ashley Corbo always knows how to make you feel seen. In her podcast, Female Friendships: Why They’re Hard, Friendship Expectations, and Growing Apart From Friends, Ashley gets real with her first guest, Lauren Raymond, about the highs and lows of female friendships. These ladies discuss why friendship comes naturally different for us girls compared to the boys. They also spill all the tea on friendship truths we’ve all experienced, from managing expectations to avoiding drama. So pour yourself a cup of coffee or some wine, because you’ll love this one.
Note to Self: Navigating Friendships as an Adult
Friendships as an adult aren’t just about finding and making the friends . . . but maintaining them too. Doing that as an adult can be hard AF! And, few of us go through our 20s and 30s without at least one friend break-up that hurts like hell. So, host Payton Sartain gives listeners all her best advice to endure the best and worst of adult friendships. With these tools, you can definitely find your circle and keep that tight knit relationship.
Everyone deserves meaningful female friendships.
Between work, family, and all life’s other commitments, balance is hard, making time for new friends can feel impossible. But, we all know how vital other women can be to getting through this crazy life. Their support, laughter, and honest feedback are true gifts the kind of gifts that constantly empower us to have confidence and be our best.
So, whether you’re in your 20s trying to find your gang or in your 30s and looking to expand your circle, consider the points in this guide. By the time you’re done, you’ll be well on your way to getting all the girl power and good vibes your heart desires. And, once you find that bestie, commemorate your friendship with these Bestie of the Year hoodies!
If you ever need more girl power to make you feel good and lift your spirits, you’re always welcome to check out our podcasts hosted by beautiful and inspiring women.
You’ve got this, queen! Now, go meet your people.