13 Signs He’s Cheating on You
No relationship is perfect. Not even Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky’s relationship. You’ll always hit rough patches and have seasons where you feel like you’re out of sync. If you’re in a healthy relationship, you and your S.O. will work together to get out of the rut and your relationship will be even stronger because of it!
However . . . if you have a gut feeling something is off and your partner is acting really strange, it could be a sign something bad is happening. Bad as in . . . cheating. When the red flags start to pop up, you might be wondering if you’re just paranoid and jealous or if something legit is going on. To help you get some perspective, we’re sharing some big warning signs that your boyfriend is cheating.
Here are some red flags that might tell you he’s cheating on you:
13 Signs He’s Cheating on You
He’s not communicating in the same way.
One of the first things to get weird when your boyfriend is cheating is communication. If you’re used to having cutesy play fights and deep late-night convos, and he’s suddenly barely answering the question “How was your day?” something is up! It could be stress or something like that, but if you have communication changes along with other signs on this list . . . girl, he might be getting his chit-chat somewhere else.
He’s unreachable a lot of the day.
Speaking of talking . . . if your boyfriend is suddenly unreachable throughout the day via text, call, and social media, that could be a HUGE red flag. He’s ignoring you! It’s like he’s avoiding you when he’s away because he wants to pretend you don’t exist. Yeah. Because he’s probably cheating.
He’s super defensive and irritable.
It’s rare that someone cheats and they don’t feel icky about it in some way. He’s probably full of guilt, stress, and anxiety because HE KNOWS what he’s doing is super wrong and it’ll all blow up at any moment. All of these emotions mean mood swings, irritability, and defensiveness that seem to come out of nowhere. He may even be picking fights with you as a way of justifying his actions.
He accuses you of cheating.
If he’s accusing you of cheating, this is a common sign HE is cheating. During this time, he’s going to be hyper-aware of all of your actions and specifically suspicious of you. He knows he’s cheating, so he thinks it’s totally possible you are, too. In fact, he’s probably hoping for it in some way, so he can pass all this on to you. So, if he starts throwing out really baseless accusations, he could definitely be cheating himself.
He’s way more critical than before.
Something else cheaters often do is become super critical of their partner. If your boyfriend is cheating, he’s feeling lots of self-inflicted insecurity. He wants to feel better about himself AND his situation by putting you down at every opportunity. If you’re S.O. is suddenly doing this, that’s a huge red flag!!! (He might as well sport this red flag bucket hat. LBR.)
He won’t look you in the eye.
Your boyfriend absolutely REFUSING to look you in the eye is another reason you might have a gut instinct they’re cheating. Again, they’re guilty and nervous, worried you’re going to uncover the secret. So, if he’s cheating, he wants to draw your attention as little as possible.
His routine or schedule has changed.
Is he suddenly spending a lot more time with friends and family? Or, maybe he’s spending more time at work or the gym? If your boyfriend’s schedule had changed a bunch recently without explanation making him way more unavailable for hangouts and dates, he might be cheating.
He stops caring about things going on in your life.
If your boyfriend is essentially juggling a double life, you’re not going to be his focus. So, if he won’t pay attention to your life or needs at all, he could be reserving his thoughts for someone else. Is he forgetting about things going on in your life or refusing to engage in conversations about what’s important to you? There’s a small chance he’s cheating.
He cares about his body, hygiene, and style more than ever.
Another obvious sign your partner is having an affair is a sudden self-care obsession. If he has other behaviors that are giving sus vibes and he’s also all at once working on his psyche, dressing nice, showering more, and overall just caring more about his appearance—you’ve got a big red flag. Obviously, if he’s doing all this while also sneaking around and avoiding contact with you, you’re not the inspiration for his glow-up.
He doesn’t want sex or intimacy from you anymore.
If your sex life takes a sudden turn, it could be another sign he’s cheating. Think about it, when another girl is satisfying his needs, what does he need you for? It’s so sad, but if he’s not showing an interest in being intimate with you, he could be cheating.
I’ll note there are other reasons for intimacy issues (and other behaviors on this list)! If he’s not cheating, here’s how to restore intimacy in your relationship.
He’s hiding his phone, bank info, location, and other things.
Girllll, what’s he hiding??? Is he making sure his phone is ALWAYS on him? Is he dropping his paychecks in another account? Did he stop sharing his Snapchat location? Is he silent on social media? All of these are major red flags that he’s cheating and going to a lot of effort to keep it from you.
He’s love-bombing you.
Some signature narcissist behavior is love bombing. Showering you with random gifts or acts of service may seem like an apology for all the sh*tty behavior he’s suddenly exhibiting, but it’s not. It’s manipulation. He’s trying to mask all of the unusual changes by love-bombing you.
That way, if you accuse him of cheating he’ll be like, “Are you crazy? I just gave you that Louis Vuitton bag?” to make you feel guilty and irrational. LADIES, don’t be fooled. You’ve got a super toxic relationship on your hands.
He doesn’t want to talk about the future.
If he’s cheating, he’s hoping for a future with someone else. So, if he’s refusing to talk about your relationship in a long-term way, he could have wandering eyes. If he’s not cheating, he’s at the very least questioning the relationship, and that’s worth a conversation. It might even be a good idea to jump into couples therapy if he’s not cheating!
8 Podcast Episodes About Cheating
- + Intimacy, Self Love, Cheating, Confidence, Victimizing Yourself vs. Fueling Yourself, Adversity and Expectations – Him & Her
- + Is My Boyfriend Cheating?! – What We Said
- + Overcoming Life’s Hardest Moments, Perseverance, Cheating, & Heartbreak – Him & Her
- + How to Overcome Cheating – We Me at Acme
- + Relationships, Cheating, and Daddy Issues – The Blonde Files
- + Deconstructing Polyamory, Jealousy, and Cheating – Recovering from Reality
- + Overcoming Cheating & Abuse – What We Said
- + Cheating, Infidelity, & How To Move Forward After A Bad Break Up – Him & Her
These behaviors are big red flags and could be signs your boyfriend is cheating!
If your boyfriend is showing a lot of these cheating warning signs, we’re sorry. It’s so hard to cope with a breakup like that. We hope that he’s not cheating and it’s something you can work through! However, if he is doing the deed with another girl, listen to our fave cheating podcast episodes above to get some support and wisdom from our Dear Media hosts! (Worried that YOU’RE the other woman, listen to this podcast from Ex Virgin!
You can come out of this. You’re going to bounce back from this and be ready to become a whole new b*tch. (Better get the mug to commemorate this moment.) Know how you should be treated, and don’t settle for anything but the absolute best! We’re rooting for you, girl! Just bring the Dear Media team with you. We’ve got all the must-have advice on relationships, life, and all the other important stuff!