Being in a relationship is all about getting to know someone on a deeper level. Understanding someone on the most fundamental and complex levels is one of the most beautiful things EVER. No matter how many times you get into that “learn everything about you” stage, it’s still exciting and fills you with all those warm fuzzy feelings.
However, when you get into a romantic relationship, it’s not just about getting to know someone better—it’s about figuring out if this person is going to be a fling or a future spouse! With every new bit of info, you either fall harder for your S.O., get the ick, or learn to compromise. The more you know about your partner, the better you’ll be able to project the outcome of the relationship.
If you’re like a lot of people and want to know if your S.O. is “the one,” you need to know some key things about your partner. We have this list of questions to ask your partner on the blog (and Caroline Sansbury of Uncut and Uncensored as her list too), but some of them are just for fun. We’re dedicating this post to the things you NEED to know about your boyfriend or girlfriend before you take things to the next level:
14 Things You Should Know About Your Partner
Their top movies, series, and music.
Knowing your partner’s favorite bits of media will help you understand if you’re compatible. You don’t need ALL the same taste in movies, TV shows, and music, but if he watches a lot of golf, jams to pop country, or binges only the last season of The Office, all that might just straight-up be red flags. It’s just good to know these things.
Their eating habits.
What does your partner prefer to eat? If you’re someone who takes healthy eating seriously, but your S.O. doesn’t, that might be a value difference that’ll cause fights in the future. Or, if you like to be adventurous with your palate, but they’re super picky eaters, arguments about where to even go on dates may be stupidly difficult. At the very least, knowing their fave foods will help you treat them on special days!
Their allergies and medical concerns.
This is obvious, but you should know what’s going on with your partner’s health. Not that you’d dump him if he had something serious, but being able to help support his health is an important part of loving your S.O. well. Get to know their allergies and medical conditions, so you can be mindful of their needs.
Their love language.
You need to know the love language of everyone in your life you’re close to. PERIOD. This is especially true about your partner. If you’re not familiar, a love language says how a person receives love. Some people love quality time with their partner or public displays of affection, whereas others like acts of service or gifts. When you know this, you have the key to making your S.O. feel super wanted and appreciated. If you ever feel disconnected from your partner, always go back to these love languages!
Their fave people.
You should know the friends or family members that your partner is closest to. Get to know their favorite people, whether in person or just by asking your partner to talk about them. This will reveal a lot about their values and abilities to maintain committed relationships. (A BFF since 2nd grade? GREEN FLAG.)
Their life story.
If you really want to learn a lot about someone and decide if they’re legit or a complete narcissist, you need to hear their life story. Just let them talk and listen to the key moments in their life from infancy to high school and beyond. You’ll really understand your partner better when you can track how they became the person they are today.
Their daily routine.
This may seem silly, but knowing your partner’s daily routine also gives you plenty of info about their character, values, and even work ethic. Like do they get up and work out every day? Do they play non-stop video games after work? Do they only work a few hours a week? At the very least, you can identify if they’re a night owl or morning person, which could definitely play a role in compatibility and long-term success.
Their financial situation.
Okay, we all know that money isn’t everything, but you’ve gotta know where your partner is with money. This can be an awkward conversation, but you need to know that if you invest more time in this partner, you’re not going to end up taking care of all of their debt or high bills. Keep healthy boundaries, but use this episode of We Met at Acme and this episode of What We Said to help you get some solid perspective. And, if you decide he’s still a winner, make sure to check out our top financial podcasts.
Their political and religious views.
Now we’re getting to some real deal breakers! If religion or politics have never come up… guys, it’s time. Whether you want to hear “red” or “blue” on politics or “yay” or “nay” on the God thing, you have to get an answer before you can take the relationship to the next stage. For more help on this, listen to these episodes of We Met at Acme about relationships with religion and relationships with politics.
Their sexual preferences and history.
If you haven’t had sex yet, it’s good to have the conversation BEFORE you jump into the action. Be chill about it, but don’t be afraid to ask your partner about their sexual preferences and history. You deserve to know about any kinks, STDs, baby mamas, or any other sexual experiences or baggage. It’s not impossible to be together if you feel like you’re sexually incompatible, but you need to figure it out! These sex podcasts might also help!
Their porn views.
It seems like every relationship has different rules about porn, so don’t assume your partner aligns with your views. Ask your partner if they watch porn and their overall feelings about it. If you want some good talking points, listen to the episode of Ex Virgin called “Relationships, Instagram vs Reality, and the BTS of Porn” and the episode of We Met at Acme called “Is Watching Porn Ruining Our Sex Lives?”
Their relationship goals.
This is a big one. What does your partner want out of this relationship? Sometimes we forget that some people don’t date for marriage (and that’s chill), but instead just want a long-term gig. If marriage and kids are important to you, this may be a deal breaker. Just ask the question, and if he says marriage, check out these questions to ask your S.O. before marriage from Uncut and Uncensored!
Their professional and personal goals.
Beyond relationship goals, what are they planning to do with their lives? If it’s different or in contrast with your direction in life, you two may have to do some talking. However, understanding your partner’s goal will help you be way more supportive and helpful in getting to his objectives. Remember, all these questions are going to turn back to you, so if you are struggling with finding pals, listen to the episode of Him & Her called “Finding Your Purpose, Accelerating Your Growth, and How to be Resourceful and Adaptable.” You can also read our post about finding direction in life here!
Their strengths and weaknesses.
Learning your partner’s strengths and weaknesses can help you two connect sooo much better. Also, this stuff is SO intimate, so just sharing and talking like this will hopefully be totally game-changing for your relationship.
These are things everyone should know about their S.O.!
You need to know your partner better than anyone else. These questions will help you get right to the deep stuff. Hopefully, you’ll both share information that will refine your relationship and grow you even closer together. For more relationship tips and life advice, check out the Dear Media blog and go find your partner! It’s time to chat.