Relationships

70+ Vulnerable Questions To Ask Your Partner

By Influencer | February 28, 2025

We all want relationships with deep connections and unbreakable bonds. Everyone wants Travis Kelce to their Taylor Swift, Tom Holland to their Zendaya, or Justin Bieber to their Hailey. However, relationships this special don’t just pop up overnight—developing true intimacy takes time, patience, and strategy! Plus, relationships naturally thrive when you dig past the surface level and get to the nitty-gritty stuff. This episode of It’s Not That Deep talks allll about it.

One of the best ways to grow a strong connection with your partner is by asking them those vulnerable, intimate questions. As you both share your answers, you’ll get to know each other on a much deeper level, which will hopefully help strengthen your bond into becoming the ultimate #couplegoals. If you’re wondering where to start and which questions to ask, we’ve got you covered. Today, we’re sharing a round-up of all of our fave juicy relationship questions to get you and your partner talking.

70+ Vulnerable Questions To Ask Your Partner

Questions to Ask Your Partner About Sex and Physical Intimacy

What’s your ultimate fantasy?
How can we improve our intimacy?
What’s your idea of a perfect night together?
What turns you on the most?
How do you like to communicate our desires?
What role does physical touch play in our relationship?
What’s something you’d like to explore sexually together?
Are there any specific things you like or dislike when it comes to physical affection?
Do you feel like we’re emotionally connected when we’re intimate?
How do you feel about the way we communicate during sex?
Are there any previous experiences that’ve shaped your views on sex and intimacy?

Still in need of more inspo for questions to ask your partner about sex and intimacy? We’ve got a few podcast episodes up our sleeve that will help you out. Check out this episode of this episode of The Ins and Outs with Ruby and Megan, this episode of Oddvice, and this episode of Him & Her Show.

Questions to Ask Your Partner About the Future

Where do you see us in 5, 10, or 20 years?
What are your biggest dreams for our future together?
How can we support each other’s goals?
What’s your plan for a long-term, healthy relationship?
What’s your biggest fear when it comes to our future?
How can we make our relationship even better over time?
How can we balance our individual goals with our shared future?
What’s your ideal living situation in the long term?
How would you like to celebrate important milestones together?
How do you see our relationship changing over time?
How do you feel about having children someday, if it all?
How do you feel about aging? Does it make you excited or anxious?
How do you want to support each other in the future both emotionally and practically?
What are some bucket list things you want to accomplish together?

Everyone loves a partner with ambition and these questions will show you if your partner is one. Plus, if you’re interested in talking about the future, sharing the answers to these questions can help you be a better partner and/or spouse! Also, don’t forge to listen to this episode of We Met At Acme to find out how to keep the spark alive as your relationship progresses.

Questions to Explore Emotional Intimacy

Share a time when you cried in front of someone.
What’s your love language outside of the bedroom?
What would you say your attachment style is?
What’s the most loving thing I’ve done for you?
How do you want to be comforted when you’re feeling down?
What’s your favorite childhood memory and how does it shape you?
What’s a small gesture that makes you feel loved?
When do you feel the most vulnerable, and do I show up for you in those times?
What is the most important values to you in life? Do you feel like we share some of the same?
What are ways that I can support your goals?
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, what’s the best thing I can do for you in those moments?
Do you think we share responsibilities equally?

A relationship where both parties can be vulnerable with each other is an example of what a healthy relationship looks like. For more pointers, listen to this episode of We Met At Acme

Big Questions for Deep Connection

What’s your ultimate goal in life?
What’s something you’ve never shared with anyone?
How can we understand each other better on a daily basis?
What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do together?
Share your biggest fear with me.
How can we make each other feel loved every day?
What past experiences shaped your view of relationships?
How do you handle conflict and what’s the best way for me to respond when we disagree?
How do you feel about emotional vulnerability in a relationship?
What does commitment mean to you?
What do you fear most in relationships, and what can I do to help that?
How do you define trust?
How do you feel about balance in a relationship—physically, emotionally, and practically?
What are your favorite ways to spend quality time together?

Another way to have deep conversations is to listen to podcasts that really make you think. For this set of questions in particular, check out this episode of Almost Adulting.

Questions to Ask Your Partner About Communication

How can we improve our communication during conflicts?
What’s the most meaningful conversation we’ve ever had?
Share a time when you felt truly heard by me.
What’s your preferred way to express love and appreciation?
How can we make sure we’re always on the same page?
What’s a topic you’d like to discuss more openly?
How do you prefer to communicate when you’re upset?
Do you like to talk about problems immediately, or do you need space first?
How do you feel we handle conflict resolution in our relationship?
What’s your ideal way of solving misunderstandings?
What are some things we could do to improve our communication?
How important is nonverbal communication to you in a conversation?

You need great communication to start a relationship, build a relationship, and, most importantly, maintain a relationship. Listen to this episode of House Guest for more on healthy communication and green flags.

Questions to Foster Trust and Transparency

What’s something from your past you’ve never shared with me?
How do you envision rebuilding trust if it’s ever broken?
Share a secret ambition you’ve been holding onto.
How can we be more transparent with each other?
If you had to define trust with 3 adjectives, what would they be?
What are your expectations for honesty in our relationship?
How do you handle dishonesty?
Describe a time when trust was crucial in your life.
Was there ever a situation that your trust was broken beyond repair?
What are key ways I can help maintain the trust you have in me?
How do you manage doubt and anxiety?

Deep convos are all about being super transparent and vulnerable with your partner. Check out the episode of Looking Up called Radical Transparency + Relationship Resiliency for more!

Questions to Ask About Personal Growth

How can we support each other’s personal development?
Share a self-discovery journey or realization you’ve had recently.
What’s a goal you’d like to achieve in the next year?
How do you envision us growing together in the long term?
What’s one area of personal growth that scares you?
How can we hold each other accountable for our goals?
How do you define personal growth?
What are habits or routines that you want to develop or improve?
How do you go about dealing with set backs and/or failures?
How do you keep yourself motivated when things get tough?
What things do you do to ensure that you’re prioritizing self-care and self-improvement?
What are a few areas in your life where you want to challenge yourself more?

As much of ourself as we dedicate to our partners, it’s important to still show up for yourself. To better understand each other, find out ways your partner shows up for themselves, too. Learn more about growing in relationships with the Him & Her Show.

Questions for Fun and Connection

If we could travel anywhere together, where would you want to go?
What’s a shared hobby or interest we can explore together?
Share a funny or embarrassing story from your past.
What’s your favorite memory of us as a couple?
Describe your idea of a romantic date night.
What’s a unique experience you’d like us to have together?
What was your first impression of me when we met? How has that changed?
If we were to win the lottery tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d wanna do together?
If you had to pick a theme song for our relationship, what song would it be?

Honestly, a fun way to feel connected is to sit down with your partner and listen to one of our top podcasts for couples! What better way to spend quality time together?

Questions About Family

How do you envision our relationship affecting our families?
Share your thoughts on having children.
What traditions from your family do you want to continue?
When do you think is the best time to have kids?
What’s one thing that your parents did growing up that you don’t want to do with your own kids?
Is there anything about having children that scares you?
Were you close with your family growing up? If not, why?
What role do you think extended family members should play in our lives together?
How do you think we should support each other’s families in times of need?
How would you plan to handle potential conflict with in-laws?
What’s one thing that you’d 100% want to teach our future children?

These definitely aren’t first-date questions for couples, but they are great to ask when things are getting serious. If you and your beau are considering children, listen to this episode of Him & Her Show about pregnancy and parenthood! And if you’re on the hunt for more parenting podcasts in general, you have to check out Milk Drunk and Raising Good Humans. Both podcasts have tons of episodes on balancing parenting and a romantic relationship.

Questions to Strengthen Trust

How can we rebuild trust if it’s ever been broken?
Share a time when I made you feel truly secure.
What’s your perspective on privacy in our relationship?
How can we ensure that trust remains a cornerstone of our love?
What actions or behaviors help you feel trusted and valued?
Are there any ways you feel our trust could be strengthened? How and why?
Was there anyone in your past who broke your trust beyond repair?
What role does forgiveness play in our relationship?
Have you ever been cheated on? If so, how did you get past it?
Have you ever cheated on someone else? If so, did you forgive yourself for it?

Often, lack of trust is because of a past hurt. If either of you are dealing with the trauma of a bad break-up where your trust was violated, listen to the Him & Her Show episode called Cheating, Infidelity, & How To Move Forward After A Bad Break Up.

Questions About Past Relationships

What have you learned from past relationships?
How can we apply those past lessons to our relationship now?
Share a memorable moment from a past relationship—good or bad.
What do you believe is your relationship pattern, if any?
How do you want our relationship to differ from past ones?
How do you feel about discussing past relationships with a current partner?
What’s something that you’ve taken from a previous relationship that’s helped you grow as a person?
Is there anything from a past relationship that you still struggle with or think about?
How do you think your past relationships shaped the way you approach love and commitment now?
What do you think is the biggest difference between your past relationships and ours?

Speaking of past relationships… there is probably a lot to unpack there. Don’t be afraid to have these conversations! They can help bring you closer together. For more on resolving past conflict and moving on from it, listen to this episode of Him & Her Show!

Ask questions to get to know your partner on a deeper level!

Remember, asking these questions isn’t just about getting answers; it’s about understanding your partner on a deeper level. The goal is to build the kind of emotional intimacy that lasts for the long run, because that’s what really matters. The more willing you are to dig deeper with your partner, the stronger the foundation of your relationship will be. So, don’t be afraid to really dig deep! Plus, how fun of a date night would it be to sit down and just run those all of the questions we listed?

Check out the Dear Media blog for anything from love life advice to health and wellness tips. And, don’t forget to check out the DM shop for tons of must-haves! You need this “Luckiest Girl” mug, since you’re the soon-to-be luckiest girl for having that open and honest relationship people only dream of.