Why Sex Is Important In A Relationship: Ditch the Shame, Not the Sheets

Alright, guys, let’s talk sex! Yeeeep, no sugarcoating it; we’re going straight there. Here at Dear Media, we’re all about keeping it real and breaking down the stigma around sex and intimacy. It’s time we open up about the role sex actually plays in building healthy relationships! We’ve talked about emotional intimacy, spiritual connection, physical attraction we’ve covered it ALL. But at the end of the day, sexual intimacy is powerful stuff. 

Now, we’re not saying that sex is everything, but it definitely is something… a big something, actually. Sex is one of the ways we connect, feel seen, release tension, build trust, unleash confidence… need we go on? Basically, sex plays a huge role in strengthening and enhancing a romantic relationship. 

But… How important is sex in a relationship? Let’s talk about it! From how often you should be having sex to how regular sexual activity can give you a little health boost we aren’t leaving any stone unturned. Ditch the shame, embrace the taboo, and dive in!

Why Sex Is Important In A Relationship: Ditch the Shame, Not the Sheets

Honestly, there are plenty of reasons why sex is important in relationships… but maybe not for the reasons you’d expect. A healthy sex life with your partner isn’t just about relationship satisfaction and higher rates of happiness (though those matter, too!). We won’t give all of our secrets away just yet; you have to keep reading for all the nitty-gritty, no-BS deets. 

Deepens Emotional Intimacy

Sex isn’t just physical it’s a super powerful way to deepen an emotional connection. There’s just something soooo magnetic about that kind of openness and shared vulnerability this episode of Beyond the Mat talks about it! The skin-to-skin, eye contact, unspoken trust; it’s not just bodies touching, it’s souls synching. (We’re channeling our inner Balanced Blonde here.) 

Plus, let’s get real: anyone can jump on an app for hooking up, meet for a one-night fling, and never speak again. The real intimacy grows when you choose to show up, be fully present, and let your guard down. And honestly, what’s more intimate than sharing your deepest desires with someone?

Strengthens Your Bond

As an adult, life gets chaotic quickly. You’re trying to balance work, a social life, and responsibilities it’s easy to get wrapped up in your own world and feel disconnected. Let sex be your reset button! Not just for yourself but for intimate relationships, too. 

We’re sure that as busy as you are, your partner shares an equal, hectic workload. But in a world that’s distracted and often on autopilot, that kind of presence hits different.

Builds and Maintains Desire

Fine, we’ll say it desire doesn’t JUST mean being horny. It’s kinda like reading spicy books with a good plot you can feel a lot throughout chapters without really desiring anything, right? Ultimately, desire is about wanting each other and giving that desire space to breathe. Keeping that spark alive, especially in long-term or long-distance relationships, takes INTENTION!

Sex is one of the strongest ways we can communicate desire. It’s saying, “I see you, I choose you, and I still crave you.” Steamy, we know, but that’s the point! It’s the tension, the build-up, and the spontaneity that makes it worth it. Check out this episode of House Guest for more on building other communication habits in a relationship.

Reinforces Nonverbal Communication

Sometimes words of affirmation, as much as we love ‘em, just simply aren’t enough. On days when you and your partner are too tired to talk about feelings, let a quiet night tangled up in the sheets do the talking for you. Sexual satisfaction is multi-faceted; it says what you want and shows how you feel.  

And if you thought the act of sex was the nonverbal part, there’s sooo much more to it. There’s the taking off of each other’s clothes, eye contact, small smiles between kisses, maybe holding hands… It’s all the small, unspoken things we crave and don’t have to ask for. 

Reduces Stress… Literally! 

If you didn’t already know, sex has literal health benefits science says so! Oh, and this episode of The Real Stuff. Let’s break this down into two different categories: mental health and physical health (because, yes, sex benefits both).

If you’re having regular sex and feel like you’re experiencing reduced stress and better moods, it’s not in your head! Sex releases all of those feel-good hormones: oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, adrenaline… basically nature’s anti-anxiety cocktail. 

As far as physical health goes, sex can be a form of exercise and contribute to a better overall quality of life. It lowers blood pressure, improves immunity, and improves heart health the whole nine. So basically, you deserve good sex for your health.

Can A Relationship Survive Without Sex?

Short answer? Yes. Long answer? Let’s unpack it. 

A relationship can survive without sex if both partners are on the same page about it. And if you’re wondering what a “healthy sex life” looks like, we’re here to remind you that it’s different for everyone. Some couples make sex part of their daily routine, and some are totally fine letting it take a backseat. We’ll get deeper into that in a sec, but the bottom line is this: sex doesn’t equate to love, and vice versa!

There are tons of couples out there who never have sex and are just as happy as the couple who can’t go a day without it. If there’s mutual understanding, communication, and emotional intimacy, a sexless relationship will still THRIVE. 

But here’s the thing if one person has a super high sex drive and the other doesn’t, and it’s NOT being discussed or navigated with care? Yeah, you’ll start to run into problems just listen to this episode of We Met At Acme. Not necessarily because of sex itself but of what a lack of communication around sex can represent: rejection, loneliness, and unmet needs. 

It makes sense, though, right? If you’re craving sex 24/7 and your partner keeps shutting it down with no explanation, chances are you’ll start to feel a little insecure and a lot of disconnect. So, you don’t need to have sex in a relationship. Just always make sure to communicate with your partner to get on the same page about meeting each other’s needs whatever they may be!

Is Good Sex Worth Staying In A Bad Relationship?

If no one else has told you, let us be the first: good sex is NOT worth a bad relationship. No way, no how and let us tell you why. Sex can feel like a temporary high: you feel great, you’re having fun, you’re in the moment, and everything is perfect. But at the end of the day, that high will fade, and you’ll be stuck in a relationship you’re not completely satisfied with. 

No matter what area the relationship isn’t healthy in (trust, communication, boundaries, emotional connection), even the best sex starts to feel hollow. And we know that we just spent time telling you about all the benefits of sex, but none of them are worth it if your relationship isn’t fulfilling. Listen to this episode of Life with Marianna for more on this!

You deserve more than JUST good sex. You deserve a partner who sees you, hears you, and is invested in supporting and growing with you and not just in the bedroom. For more on remembering your worth, you need to check out this episode of We Met At Acme.

How Often Should You Have Sex In A Healthy Relationship?

Back to the age-old question how much sex should you be having in a healthy relationship? The real answer is that there is no answer. There’s no rule for the length or frequency of sex you should be having to be “healthy” or “normal.” Every relationship is unique, and everybody’s sex drives are different this episode of We Met At Acme is also here to talk about it!

Some couples are big on spontaneous intimacy and ritualistic date nights, while others are more like, “Eh, let’s have sex whenever we both end up in the mood.” And you know what? BOTH are okay! What matters most is the amount of open communication you have with your partner. If you’re both checking in on intimacy levels and making sure you’re on the right page, you’re golden. Also, BTW, poor communication is the #1 reason why couples break up!

With that being said, here are a few guidelines to remember when you think about the importance of sex, including how often you should have it: 

• Quality over quantity: It isn’t about how much you’re having sex; it’s about how fulfilling it is when you do! It’s fine if you’re not having sex as much as some other couples might, so long as you’re both satisfied. 
• Life happens: The reality of a healthy sex life is that intimacy ebbs and flows. Between stress, work, kids, big moves, finances, and responsibilities, it’s okay if things slow down. Just prioritize closeness and intimacy in other ways!
• It’s okay to want less or more: We’ll say this 100 times if we have to; your sex drive is normal. Some people want more, some people want less, libido increases, it decreases you get where we’re going. Relationships aren’t about meeting a number but about creating a safe space for communication. This episode of We Met At Acme talks all about how different things can affect a sexual relationship.

How To Keep Sex Alive In A Relationship

Talk openly about your sex life. 

We’re starting off strong with a major tip talk openly about your sex life with your partner (and listen to this episode of Live From Bed with them, too). Be honest about your needs, desires, and even discomforts. You obviously already know what you want, but they may not! 

But don’t just talk about your sex life when things feel off; make it part of your regular check-ins! There’s seriously no shame in owning what you want and communicating that it goes a long way. Listen to this episode of Barely Filtered for more on this topic!

Try new things together spice it up!

We’re not here to talk you into or shame you for what you like in the bedroom. But we can tell you that spontaneity can be fun. This doesn’t have to involve jumping right into things (unless that’s your vibe), but slowly introducing new things can be fun!

Experiment with new positions, try out different roleplay scenarios, or maybe even test out new locations (hello, shower sex). If you’re having to ask, “What is vanilla sex?” you may be overdue for some spice. Relax and have some fun! 

Keep the romance alive and well.

Don’t let your romance blend together with your sex life. Yes, sex is important, but so is what you do outside of it. All of those sweet texts, random compliments, and cute surprise date nights can keep that romantic spark alive!

When the romance is alive and well outside of the bedroom, it transitions into a deeper, more connected bond in the bedroom. 

Focus on pleasure, not performance. 

We will drive this point alllll the way home because it’s SO important. The world has always had a way of making sex feel like a performative art. How do you look? Where do you look? What noises do you make? How do you make it a time they’ll never forget? 

We love a good masterclass in sex appeal, but right now, it’s less about performing and more about enjoying. When you’re both fully present in the moment, you’ll be able to enjoy the experience (and the pleasure) sooo much more. 

Check out this episode of Treated for more on ditching shame and prioritizing pleasure, and this episode of Almost Adulting for unlocking your pleasure.

Always remember to take care of yourself, too.

You are your own best asset when it comes to keeping sex alive in a relationship; just listen to this episode and this episode of Ex-Virgin! We’re not talking about manifesting during sex (yes, it’s a real thing), bubble baths, or meditating (though you should probably treat yourself to that, too). It’s more important to make sure your mind, body, and spirit feel good. 

When you’re confident, healthy, and mentally feeling your best, you’re more likely to bring that energy into your relationship and sex life. 

Now that you know why sex matters, how will you choose to show up in your relationship?

The honest truth is that sex is important in a relationship, but it branches far past the reasons you may have assumed initially. Sex is about fostering a deeper connection with your partner, building an intense bond, and just having fun! No matter the amount of sex you have or what you enjoy behind closed doors, all that matters is that you and your partner are both present and enjoying the ride… pun intended.

If you wanna dive even deeper, don’t forget to check out the best sex podcasts! You can find stories, secrets, and helpful tips for improving your sex life. And, of course, keep up with the Dear Media blog for everything from relationship advice to health and wellness tips. Also, you have to check out the DM shop for all of the newest and hottest products, like this “Ride” tee or “Successful Era” mug both are speaking to your life right now!