Relationships

8 Social Media Red Flags in Relationships: Not So Subtle Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore

By Dear Media | February 5, 2025

Social media is one of those things that we have a love/hate relationship with. On one hand, it’s a great way to connect with old friends, meet new people, and, let’s be real, flaunt a relationship. But, on the other hand, it’s a BREEDING ground for drama. Social media is notorious for ruining relationships whether it’s through jealousy, secret flirty DM’s, or just straight-up infidelity. Because, let’s be honest, infidelity isn’t black and white.

People think they can get away with it since they’re behind a screen, which is why we’re here to break down social media red flags that you need to be aware of ASAP. It may initially start as innocent attention-seeking, but it could hint at something much bigger brewing below the surface.

Gone are the days of using a social media platform to be sneaky. When you catch these red flags early on, it can save you (and your mental health) a world of pain later on. Let’s get into it!

8 Social Media Red Flags in Relationships: Not So Subtle Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore

**Your partner is constantly hiding their phone.**

If you’ve ever heard that someone only flips their phone upside down when hiding something, there may be some truth to that. If your partner is constantly hiding their screen, logging out of apps, or clearing their social media activity BIG red flag.

This isn’t about “respecting privacy” it’s about hiding something! This leads to mistrust, insecurity, and this constant battle of trying to figure out whether you’re dealing with intuition or anxiety.

Their ex is still in the picture somehow, some way.

If your partner is still following their ex or “accidentally” interacting with their posts, MAJOR red flag. And look, we understand and respect a cordial breakup that’s why we love this episode of Note to Self, which teaches us how to have a “good” breakup. But, boundaries are a totally different story.

You can still be amicable with an ex and not follow them on social media. In some cases, it creates this weird silent comparison game with ghosts from your partner’s past that you didn’t agree to play with. And we’re NOT here for the psychological effects of feeling like the other woman.

They have that “all my friends are single” vibe.

You are the company you keep, right? If your partner’s friends are always bragging about the single life and posting promiscuous pics, and your partner is constantly tagging along and hyping them up? Something’s off.

If they don’t act like they’re in a relationship online, they may not be fully committed offline. This can easily lead you to feel like an afterthought or like they’re doing something shady behind the scenes.

They’re not just sharing; they’re oversharing.

If your partner is constantly posting you, that shouldn’t be a red flag, right? But alas, it is. We all love posting photos of our cute date nights and “this made me think of you” moments. But if your partner is flaunting every moment of your relationship off, it deserves a few brow raises.

There’s a difference between sharing the love and oversharing for validation. This takes away from the intimacy of each moment and raises the question: are they doing this for the likes or because they actually want to show off the special moments with you?

They’re too busy to post about you. Ever.

On the flip side of posting too much comes a different problem: your partner doesn’t post you at ALL. If you and your beau have been going on fun dates full of photobooth pics and memorable selfies, but you’re not anywhere on their feed? Not even for a soft launch??? No thanks especially if you’re in a more long-term situation.

A lack of acknowledgment of the relationship can sound alarms for anyone. It makes you feel like they’re trying to keep your relationship secret for a reason none of them being good.

They use and abuse those react buttons.

We’ve all sent a smiley face or fire emoji here and there, but there’s a time and place for it. If your partner is constantly heart-reacting to other people’s posts or sending flirty emojis, it’s straight-up disrespectful AF.

It sends the message that your relationship lacks boundaries, and they’re tip-toeing that line without regard for your feelings. Listen to this episode of Oddvice for a male perspective on temptation, flirting, and all things alike.

They’re “too busy” for face-to-face interactions.

It’s not uncommon to scroll through social media when you have free time, but that isn’t an excuse for your partner to blow off those intimate, face-to-face moments. Especially if they’re spending all their time scrolling, posting, and chatting but are “too busy” or “too tired” when it comes to hanging out with you.

Feeling like you have to compete for their time just creates distance between the two of you. Relationships need real, present moments not digital distractions. Listen to this episode of Balanced Black Girl for more about when it’s time to “unplug.”

Their DMs are way too crowded.

If your partner interacts with everyone in their DMs, it’s time to step back. Whether it’s people you don’t know or old flames trying to slide back in they can both get real sketchy. There’s a huge difference between yellow flags in relationships and screaming red flags this happens to be the latter.

If your partner’s chatting with people they shouldn’t be, it shows they’re not fully invested in YOUR relationship. It’s also not controlling behavior to be curious about who’s always lighting up your partner’s phone it’s about honest communication!

How To Address Red Flags In A Relationship on Social Media

Have honest communication about things.

If you can relate to any of these red flags, it’s time to have an open and honest conversation with your partner. It might feel uncomfortable, but this is what a healthy relationship is all about! Tell your partner how their behavior on social media makes you feel, and be open to their response. This episode of House Guest dives more into healthy communication and relationship green flags!

Come together and set clear boundaries.

We’ll cut your partner some slack for this one. Maybe they don’t realize they’re doing more harm than good with their social media accounts! We Met At Acme has a full episode on the difference between how guys and girls think. And honestly, maybe a difference in perception is all that’s happening here.

But that’s why establishing clear boundaries and deal breakers is key. Come together and set some ground rules. Being on the same page is important so disrespect doesn’t go unnoticed. For more on setting boundaries (for yourself and your relationship), listen to this episode of Real Pod and this episode of Dear Gabby.

Try to practice transparency the moment you’re feeling off.

If there’s a moment where you feel weird about someone your partner is talking to or you saw they liked a bikini pic that you wish they hadn’t, tell them that! Suggest that being open about your digital lives is just as important. It doesn’t mean they have to hand over their passwords so you can inspect their data, but being upfront is a necessary step. This episode of That’s The Point dives deeper into what’s toxic and what’s tolerable.

Reassess the reasons for social media use.

This one’s a little deeper, but it’s for everyone with a partner who’s too deep in social media to be present in real life. Sometimes, it can be a mindless distraction, and sometimes, it can be for validation. Knowing the root of why your partner uses social media to a greater extent can help you figure out how to establish that real, face-to-face connection. Because I Love You says it best: the addiction to validation can ruin your life.

Experience healthier relationships by knowing when to call out red flags.

Social media is a fun way to stay connected and meet new people, but it also brings out behaviors that slip under the radar if you don’t know what to look for. Tackling red flags in a relationship is key to turning things around for the best. Relationships take work especially in the digital age.

Check out the Dear Media blog for advice on anything from bedroom red flags to health and wellness. And, don’t forget to check out the DM shop for tons of must-haves like this “Boundaries” crewneck! It just fits the vibes for this situation, right???

We aren’t done talking about warning signs in relationships, though. For more on this topic, check out these episodes from some of our favorite podcasters: