5 Tips on Millennial Dating: Ghosting, Green Flags, and the Modern Love Game

Dating always has its complications, no matter what age you are or what generation you belong to. But let’s be real: dating as a millennial comes with a lot more pressure from the older generations. That whole “when are you gonna settle down already?” question has worn itself OUT. 

Not to mention the pressure that comes with modern dating, right??? Ghosting, zombieing, situationships oh my! Finding a real connection feels harder than ever. Unlike in the past, when dating followed more traditional paths, we’re stuck with endless swiping, blurred lines, and figuring out how to set boundaries. 

You’re not alone in this, though. If you’re sick of the games and are ready to date with confidence and self-assurance, you’ve come to the right place. Here are some practical, no-BS tips on millennial dating that will actually help you navigate the modern love game. 

5 Tips on Millennial Dating: Ghosting, Green Flags, and the Modern Love Game

Before jumping into our tried-and-true tips and tricks, we have to discuss the challenges in millennial dating. We know you’re sick and tired of the ever-confusing “what are we phase” and mental exhaustion of swiping on dating apps for hours which is why we came to the rescue! Not only will this help you recognize patterns in your dating life, but it will also help you make the most of the advice we’re about to offer.

Why Dating Is So Hard For Millennials

Paradox of Choice

Thanks to dating apps and social media, the dating pool feels more open than ever. That should be a good thing, right? Enter the “paradox of choice.” When we have too many options to choose from, it’s harder to feel satisfied. 

When you feel like there could always be someone better out there, commitment almost becomes a second thought. And then we have indecision, fear of settling, and plenty of window-shopping constantly wondering if the next swipe or the next date might bring someone who’s an even better fit. For more on commitment, listen to this episode of Almost Adulting and this episode of Let’s Be Honest. 

Dating App Burnout

Dating apps have changed the dating game entirely. And if you’ve kept up with the Dear Media blog, you know we have tons of advice on the topic. Dating tips for introverts, how to find someone on dating apps, dating app conversation starters you name it, we’ve covered it.   

As beneficial as meeting someone on a dating app may be, it also has its fair share of challenges. You match with someone, share quick small talk, and never actually meet up in real life. This dating app fatigue makes it tempting to give up and check out altogether. 

If you’re in a dating app rut, check out this episode and this episode of Dear Acme. 

Unclear Relationship Labels

Dating used to have clearer labels: you met, dated, fell in love, married the whole shebang. Now? We have talking stages and situationships these undefined things that can drag on for forever. 

Lack of clarity in a relationship isn’t just annoying; it can cause confusion, insecurity, and mismatched expectations. You may feel 100% committed while your partner tells someone else you’re “just talking.” Basically, you risk dating the emotionally unavailable.

To explore the messiness of situationships further, listen to this episode of Let’s Be Honest and this episode of Note to Self.  

Social Media Pressure 

Social media can be the nail n the coffin of a relationship even the “good” ones. It introduces new challenges, like social media red flags, knowing when and how to soft launch, and navigating the nuances of modern dating etiquette (Do I comment on their post after the first date, or is that too much?).   

The pressure to appear happy and perfect all the time can feel suffocating, and playing the comparison game to other online relationships is destroying your happiness. This episode of That’s The Point can tell you all about it. 

Conflicting Expectations 

Millennials sit between two very different worlds. On one hand, the older generation expects you to settle down the way they did that whole dating, falling in love, starting a family by 30 ordeal. On the other hand, younger generations embrace prioritizing personal growth and independence over feeling this need to have a love life. 

There’s internal and external pressure from every angle. Do you follow the path society deems to be correct, or do you take your time and prioritize what feels right for YOU? This episode of With Whit talks about living your life for yourself, not what you feel you’re conditioned to. And if you still feel stuck, listen to this episode of Oddvice.  

How To Date As A Millennial 

With dating, some people want casual hookups, while others want to find their perfect match. Knowing what you want and where you stand in your dating journey is crucial. 

Take some time to reflect on your relationship goals and make decisions that align with your values to avoid letting someone else define them for you. Being upfront with yourself (and others) saves you potential heartbreak and lots of time wasted. You’re much more likely to attract people who align with your intentions! 

Set boundaries for dating apps. 

To avoid dating burnout and fatigue, set boundaries for yourself. Limit your time on apps, give yourself a certain number of matches daily, or only check them at a specific time. When you set the intentions for your dating life, it puts you back in control. 

Boundaries also help you remember that your dating life doesn’t define who you are it should be fun, not feel like a never-ending chore. Listen to this episode of Him & Her Show for more on setting boundaries and finding peace. 

Don’t get stuck in situationships that will waste your time. 

Ahh, the ever-confusing situationship. It’s not quite just friends, but it’s also not dating, either it’s emotionally draining. If you find yourself in a situationship and you’re craving more, don’t be afraid to set boundaries and communicate that! 

If the person you’re dating isn’t willing to commit or respect how you feel, you have to learn to be okay with that. Know that it’s okay to walk away from a relationship that isn’t serving you. And remember, prioritizing your mental health comes above everything else. 

This episode of Balanced Black Girl serves as a gentle reminder of why it’s essential that you always choose yourself. 

Stop using social media to play the love life comparison game. 

If there’s anything that you take from this post, it’s this: social media is a highlight reel, not real life. Of course people are going to post the best parts of their relationship don’t we all? Every relationship has its ups and downs, even if it’s hard to remember that as you scroll your IG full of engagement announcements and bae-cations. 

It’s so easy to overthink, which is why we love this episode of Dear Gabby, which discusses key ways to avoid “analysis paralysis.” Confidence is key don’t compare your love life to those you see on social media. 

Don’t self-sabotage you deserve good things.

When you do find someone who seems to check off all the boxes, let yourself relish it! It’s so easy to self-sabotage, especially when something feels too good to be true. Don’t overthink, stop looking for a deeper meaning to things that may not matter, and don’t overanalyze every minor detail.

Easier said than done, we know but you may be standing in your own way. You deserve good things; don’t doubt that when it comes your way! If you want more insight on self-sabotaging and why we do it, check out this episode of Looking Up and this episode of The Art of Being Well.

What Are The Most Popular Dating Apps For Millennials

Tinder

Often associated with hooking up, Tinder is actually great for looking for long-term relationships, too! It’s great for millennials because of its simplicity and massive user base. The platform makes it super easy to define what you want and narrow down what you don’t. 

Bumble

On Bumble, women make the first move which is intimidating but also really empowering. It’s great for millennial women looking for a safer dating experience. No more creepy first messages or weird pick-up lines (at least not at first!). The shift in power allows more for meaningful conversation. 

Hinge

If you’ve ever used Hinge, you know its slogan is “design to be deleted.” It encourages long-term dating, a refreshing approach for millennials tired of swiping for what feels like forever. The algorithm takes your preferences into account, making it much easier to find people who share similar values and motives. 

OkCupid

For millennials who prioritize compatibility, OkCupid has a long-standing reputation for long-term relationships. The lengthy questionnaire, while tiring at first, is exactly what matches you to your ideal person. This platform takes everything into consideration hobbies, political views, religion, interests… we weren’t kidding. 

The League 

The League is a more exclusive dating app, but one for our business-savvy readers who want a no-BS process. If you’re super career-driven and are looking for an ambitious partner, this dating app is calling your name. It’s definitely more selective and more challenging to get into (it follows a strict vetting process), but it’s so worth it. 

Once you ditch society’s standards and unnecessary expectations, dating as a millennial isn’t all that hard!

At the end of the day, millennial dating is what you make of it. Shut out the noise from the older generation, embrace some of the new dating standards, and stay true to yourself. Don’t waste your time on things (or people!) that don’t align with your values and standards. You deserve the BEST, so don’t settle for less! 

Be sure to check out the Dear Media blog for tons of helpful advice on anything from mental health to relationship advice. And don’t forget to check out the DM Shop for tons of must-haves, like this “Please Don’t Ask” crewneck because… please don’t ask if we’ve settled down yet. Fitting, right?