No one likes a Debbie Downer. And your friends probably think you’re one if you’re always stuck in a slump of constant worries, doubts, and negativity. But your mindset doesn’t just affect your relationship with others; it affects every aspect of your life. From your health to your overall well-being, how you perceive situations can be your superpower . . . or your kryptonite.
Constantly dwelling in doubt and worrying about what others think of you (which you really shouldn’t give AF about) can increase your stress level, drag your mood down, and make you miss out on all the amazing moments of life. You’ll learn more about not caring what others think in the episode Learning to Become Unbothered from Trying Not to Care. We don’t know about you, but we came here to sip lots of wine and have lots of fun, not to stress over small stuff and doubt our awesomeness 24/7.
However, if you make a conscious effort, you can train your brain to turn negative thoughts into more positive ones. This way, you’ll see the bright side of things, even on those extra stressful days. If you’re wondering how to go about this, we’ve got you covered with the practical tips we’ll be sharing on changing that negative mindset to a positive one.
If you’re ready to turn negative vibes around and fully embrace joy, let’s get this!
How To Change Your Mindset From Negative To Positive
Identify negative thoughts.
Half the battle is learning to spot those sneaky little commentators in your head that like to bring you down and make you think less of yourself. You knock over your coffee, and your brain’s all, “You’re always so clumsy.” Or, you start a calorie-counting app, and it’s like, “You’ll never stick to it. You never stick to anything.”
Sometimes, we’re so deep in our own negativity that we don’t even know we’re wallowing. But you can say, “Not today, brain,” and lift your mood by listening to Questions to Ask Yourself Next Time You’re in a Funk from Trying Not to Care.
Though listening to some great advice is a great first step, we know it’s not always easy to catch yourself in those downward spirals, so here are some signs to look out for:
- Excessive “I can’t” or “never” talk that makes you doubt your greatness
- Harsh self-judgments over tiny mistakes like “Ugh, you’re so dumb.”
- Constant comparisons to others that make you forget your own magic.
- Worrying obsessively about potential problems rather than the present.
The next time you notice those negative thoughts sneaking in, interrupt that nonsense with positive affirmations about your power and potential, or listen to the podcast episode of The Career Contessa on How To Stop a Negative Thought Spiral. It’s a goodie!
Practice positive affirmations.
You should always be your own best cheerleader, and that’s on period! So, the next time old insecurities or negative thoughts start creeping in, shut the noise down by replacing it with positive statements about how amazing you are. Speak to yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would give a friend.
Feel like you’ll never find ‘the one’? Nope! Counter that with “I am a total catch, and my soulmate is out there.”
Stressed about work? Nope! Say, “I am capable and qualified to handle anything that comes my way.”
Your body feeling less than banging? Remind yourself that “Beautiful comes in all sizes, and I am gorgeous just as I am.”
And don’t just chant them once in a while practice positive self-talk as often as you can, like while brushing your teeth, on the bus, at a meeting, or while hanging out with friends. The more you speak more positively to and about yourself, the more you’ll begin to feel more positive.
If you need ideas, here’s a list of positive affirmations for self-love. And, here’s another list especially for our female friends!
Embrace positive influences.
We’re sure you already know that your circle plays a big role in how you see yourself and the world. We’ve all got friends who are totally awesome humans they lift us up, believe in us, and see our strengths. Those are real OGs. But it’s also easy to fall into a routine of spending most of your time with Charlotte Buzzkills, who always throw shade, make you doubt your ability, dwell on what you’re lacking, or worry themselves sick.
So it’s time to take inventory of your girl gang. Are they helping you cultivate an optimistic, high-performance mindset? Or, do you end up gravitating towards negative people who thrive off complaining? Learn how to surround yourself with positivity from the Who’s On Content? podcast episode titled The Content of Living and Inviting Positivity into Your Life Through the Content You Consume.
You must set boundaries with Debby Downers to create space for supportive people. Surround yourself with positive people who operate from abundance and confidence rather than fear. People who want to see you thrive as much as they do themselves. You can also look for inspiring people on social media who keep their feeds full of motivation, positivity, and funny memes and remind you of how amazing you are.
Practice daily gratitude.
Practicing daily gratitude can be completely life-changing! Take it from us. We know it can sound simple, but taking as little as 5 minutes daily to list what you’re thankful for can positively affect mood and reduce stress. But most importantly, it’ll help you develop a much more positive mindset.
It could be as simple as appreciating your cozy bed, whatever TV show is making you laugh, having your favorite coffee today, the sunset you saw on your walk home, the brand new bikini you bought at the store to rock during summer…purr, or that your mascara didn’t run at the gym (yep, we’ve all been there.)
You can even keep a gratitude journal (grab this SLAY ERA one!) and set a reminder to write in it before bed. The more you practice being grateful for what you DO have, the less you’ll dwell on what you don’t. For more on practicing gratitude, listen to this Absolutely Not podcast on Attitude of Gratitude.
Take your time.
Changing habits takes time, so don’t be too hard on yourself if your mindset doesn’t become positive overnight. I mean, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Likewise, reconfiguring years of negative conditioning requires patience and LOTS of it!
Sometimes, your old insecurities or worries might creep back in. But cut yourself some slack. It’s all part of the learning journey. To make it more relatable, compare your mindset shift to getting in shape for summer no one gets a banging body after just one pilates session. What’s most important is consistency and practice. So, give yourself time.
Focus on progress instead of perfection.
If you’re anything like us, sometimes, we can be our own harshest critics. We’re always worrying we’re not doing enough, being enough, or achieving enough in the eyes of some frigging imaginary perfection standard.
It’s great to have ambition, but it’s depressing AF when we set goals without giving ourselves some grace or being kind to ourselves. It only leads to frustration, stress, and, ultimately, a negative mindset.
So, instead of beating yourself up over perceived failures or mistakes, cut yourself some slack and celebrate those little wins. And, listen to this Real Pod podcast’s episode on Confessions Of An Overachiever, How To Re-Define Success & Stop Being So Hard On Yourself, for some much-needed motivation.
For example, if this week’s goal is to hit 100 miles on your run, and you could only hit 50, it’s progress, and you should be proud of yourself for going further than the 30 miles you did last week. After all, isn’t it better to have an imperfect start than no start at all? Grab this Be Kind to Your Mind tote to always remember to be your own best friend.
Look forward to things.
Isn’t it always exciting to have an upcoming party or hang out with the girls to look forward to? Planning your outfit, thinking about what makeup look you’d go for, or even just thinking about getting out of the house can be super refreshing. Looking forward to fun plans, adventures, and goals can help boost your mood.
But, if you have nothing to look forward to yet, you can start by planning brunches, lunch dates, dinners, hangouts, playdates, sleepovers, or picnics with your girls. You could also plan trips and adventures with them or create interesting goals you’d love to achieve together. The point is, you need to get yourself excited!
Incorporate healthy habits.
Self-care is one of the best ways to show up for yourself each day. It’s not just about taking care of your body; it’s about the holistic wellness of your mind, body, and soul. Developing a healthy lifestyle can train your brain to have a more positive, focused mindset.
So, instead of moping on the couch every night, shake things up with a fun fitness class like yoga, dance, or HIIT. After sweating all the negativity away, you’d sleep better and be in a better mood. Besides, if you make this a regular thing, it’ll give you a sense of accomplishment, which will make you more confident and positive.
You also need to feed your body and brain with healthy nutrients. So trade that large cup of strawberry milkshake from Dairy Queen for a green smoothie or that large box of Oreos you’re about to stress-eat for some fruits.
Finally, make time every day to do one thing just for you. Give your mind a much-needed break from all the stress of work, finances, and family, and have some “me time.” Lose yourself in a book, treat yourself to a long bath, take yourself to dinner, or zone out to your favorite Beyonce album. Need a reminder? Grab this self-care checklist mug! And, if you need more info, jump into this episode The Balanced Black Girl.
Find humor in little things.
Life will inevitably be a lot sometimes, but you can’t go through it feeling like you want to pull your hair out every day. You can’t take life too seriously and you need to find humor in little things. After all, laughter is the best medicine.
So, giggle at the fact you just stepped in that rain puddle. Laugh with your co-worker about that ridiculous customer that just left. That point is, just brush it off and make a joke of it! This way, you’ll become the happiest person you know. No matter how small, appreciating humor puts a smile on your face and helps you have a more positive outlook on life.
Talk to someone.
You know how they say, “A problem shared is a problem half-solved?” Well, it’s true. Sometimes, a good rant is all you need to shift your negative mindset to a positive one. Now, speaking to someone doesn’t necessarily mean you need therapy (but don’t we all?) It simply means you should find a trusted person to talk to who can give you unbiased advice and feedback.
You could schedule coffee with your BFF to get everything off your chest. Or, speak to your parents during Sunday dinners. It could even be your ultra-wise gym instructor or co-worker. If you can’t find anyone to confide in, you could always join an online support group and vent for laughs and virtual hugs.
However, don’t hesitate to schedule time with a therapist if that’s what you feel you need. They can provide an objective view of the areas of your life you’re struggling with.
Turn negative vibes around and welcome joy back into your life!
The truth is that turning a negative mindset into a positive one won’t happen overnight. But, if you’re willing to put in the work and stay on the journey, you’ll be so proud you did. We’ve given you many amazing tools to help you leave bad vibes in the past. Practice these tips, and you’ll become a big ball of joy and happiness before you know it.
Whenever you need more inspiration for your journey, be sure to check out our Dear Media blog and our massive and inspiring podcast library. We have a lot of positivity and motivation to go around.
